Letter to Dad

As I keep getting phone calls today, I have begun to wonder a few things. One is that I wonder how happy you are with your own life that you would blatantly destroy your own child. I wonder, how is it that a parent could be so uncaring towards the one thing you should have unconditional love for? I mean, you are supposed to love you child no matter what they do right? God knows, I could imagine ever turning my back on my own flesh and blood. I also wonder, how it is that a son who looked up to you and looked to for guidance and support, could so easily be swept to the curb?

The one thing that stands out in my mind is something that I told you when I found out I was pregnant. You wanted me to have an abortion and not make the same mistakes you made. Do you remember what I told you? I told you that you couldn’t fix your mistakes through me. It looks to me like you have found another way to do it. You of all people should know how if feels to have your kids taken from you or the right to see them denied. Oh, wait, that’s right, you didn’t exactly fight or care. As I see it, you didn’t care, and you still don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have ever treated us four kids they way did and continue to do. You are successfully alienating all of us and I’m curious to know how it feels. Personally, you make me sick and I would deny you as my father to any one who asked me.

To question John’s mental stability or any of us is ludacris. We lost some one we loved very much. Do you know what that feels like? Yea, sure you showed up and tried to support us but you and I both know that Susie made you go. The last place you wanted to be was at that funeral home or church. Us four older kids have learned to lean on each other for support in a way that we will never depend on you.

The unfortunate thing is that you won’t get the chance to know Steven or watch him grow up. You aren’t the kind of person I want him looking up to. He has a family that loves him and teaches morals and values. Steven is important and he knows that. If just once you had made at least me feel important, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way. It hurts me know, that as my Father, you haven’t made one effort to see if we were okay or if we needed any kind of help. We are okay and we don’t need any help, but even that small gesture would have showed me that you cared and that you love me. I think it’s sad that it has come to this. This family reminds me more and more of some horrible day time soap opera and I refuse to be part of it. I will cherish the relationships I have with Stephanie and John and I will continue to work on my relationship with Jason. Family should always come first, not money or possessions

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