"CONFUCIUS SAYS"
"Man who run in front of car get tired"
"Man who run behind car get exhausted"
"Two wrongs not make a right - Three lefts do"
"Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
"Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"
"If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."
===================
. A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
He asks "What for?"
She says "I want to kill my husband".
He says "Sorry, I can't do that."
She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him.
He says, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription..."
=====================
. Real Life Definitions
Adult Education - a strenuous effort to learn stuff that bored you when you were young enough to profit from it.
Bride - a woman who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband carries her across the threshold.
Career Girl - a woman who gets a man's salary without marrying one.
Clever Girl - a woman who knows how to get a man her own way.
Education - what you have left over when you subtract what you've forgotten from what you've learned.
Experience - what you think you have until such time you acquire more.
Good breeding - that quality which enables a person to wait in well mannered silence, while the loud mouth gets service.
Idiot - any person who fails to see your point in a discussion.
Lawyer - a cat that settles differences between two mice.
=====================
McDonald's is now accepting graduates of the following skools of higher edukation ..........
~Salsa Rancho College ~Reboot University ~Slick State University ~Innuendo Night College ~World Global University ~Sweet Dill Junior College ~North by Northeastern U. ~Kansas Pacific University ~Texas Aunt Em College ~University of California at Sunset ~Massachusetts Institute of Trees ~St. Cunnilingus Day School ~College of the Equator ~Pungent University of the West ~Shoe Fly Pie Academy ~Menthol State University ~Bay Rum Polytechnic University ~Yahoo College of Atlantis ~Exterior Latex School of Art ~Moon River Divinity School ~Clinica Veterinaria de Brazil ~Louisiana College of Dentistry & Dressmaking ~Uganda U. ~Hash Brown University ~Upstairs Downstairs on the Right College ~Simple Simian School of Tax Fraud ~Plagiarism Creative Writing College ~Degree Mill of Miami Beach
===================
You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author:  27583 ( Click here )
Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
|
