The Ramblings of The Ashezz -=Bad Ashezz=-

Maturity is not something many people possess. It's not maturity when you pick on some person you don't even know so you can look cool for your friends. It's not mature to mess with someone when their day is already horrible. It's not cool when you look at someone and judge them based on their hair, clothes, or anything. Judging someone you don't know is stupid. Before you decide that that girl dressed in preppy clothes is a cheerleader, or that kid dressed in black is a Satanist or thinks he's a badbum, talk to them first. There's a few sayings that have been passed around through the years that you may think nothing of or think they're corny, but the old sayings hold the most truth. Like "Never judge a book by its cover". You can't decide someone dressed in preppy clothes is some lame-brained jock or ditz who is not monogamous to anyone. You can't decide someone dressed in black or fishnet cuts themselves, thinks their scary, or is depressed. Some people fit stereotypes, but there are still a lot of people who have more depth to them than that. Maturity is in low supply these days. Last night at skating, I was confronted by a bunch of girls who gave me crap for no reason. How juvenille. I didn't even get what the heck they were saying until 45 minutes later. I was tired and upset, what can I say? "Live and let Live" is another good old saying. I don't know if this was the real meaning, but I take it in this way- Live your life the way you want it, let others live their life the way they want it. Don't try to change someone because you think the way they are is wrong, especially if you don't know them. Your right could be someone else's wrong, and vice versa. Don't try to change someone, if they're doing something wrong, let them learn it the hard way. That's why it's so stupid to give people crap because of how they dress. Don't hiss at me because I dress black. I'm not trying to be scary or look like a hardcore badbum. Crikey, I just wanna dress the way I wanna dress. Let me be me, I accept you, how hard is it to return the favor? Kindness and respect are earned. I can't respect someone who's mean to me because of what they assume I am. Countless times people have been very cruel to me because I dress different and have different opinions than them, and when I tried to defend myself, they demanded respect. That's bull. It's unfair. How can you receive respect if you don't show it? It's a sad, sick world we live in. Whatever happened to American rights? You can't be who you want anymore, oh god forbid that. I respect everyone until they give me a reason not to. It's called courtesy. I don't judge people until I sit down with them and talk to them. It's just not fair to do otherwise. People could have more depth than you might think they do based on first impressions.

Another thing I wanna say is be who you are inside. I know it's hard not to do things so people think you're cool. Peer pressure sucks like that. Everyone craves acceptance, and you rarely get it. No matter how hard you try, some people live to test you. Are you cool enough to hang out with me? Yeah, I love anyone that's not a complete jerk. I'm a very loving person. I'd die for any of you, and how many of you appreciate it? Even if I don't know you that well, I'd die to save your life. That's just the way I am, I'm a caring person. And what do I get? Constant junk. That's why I won't go skating anymore, people are too judgemental and it's hard to take when I try so hard to please every friend, acquaintace, stranger, and even those who I'm not too chummy with and I get crap back. But still I try, because some people are just worth that pain. That's who I am inside. People laugh at me. I worry over little things, people whine about it. Such is life. What can you do, you know? The only person who knows what you really want, really think, and really feel is you. That's why it's stupid to tailor yourself to another person's expectations. It's not healthy, and you end up looking like the jerk, you end up being the puppet. When everyone's turned their back on you who do you have left besides yourself? Who can you trust more than yourself?

The last thing I wanted to cover here is the fact that everyone has feelings. A lot of things you do to show off for your friends can seriously damage someone's self esteem and emotions. You might think they're nothing. Like "Yo Mama" jokes. You might think its hilarious. Someone comes up to me and junk-talks my mama, it hurts for months. I loved my mommy, I still do, and she's dead. She's gone. No more mommy for me. You don't know what has happened to a stranger, you don't know what is going on in someone's personal life if you don't know them. How would you feel if you reduced someone to tears and hurt them to the point where next thing you know you hear they hung themselves in a closet, or put a bullet in their own brain? It does happen. My mom dealed with people her whole life. People made fun of her, but she was never one to hurt another person. Just like me. Eventually, people drove her to the point that, without saying anything to anyone, she told my dad to take care of me and my sister, pulled out a gun and shot herself. How many people have to die until we realize what idiots we are and how much we need to stop it? Violence, Drugs, and Words are what is wrong with people these days. We can't seem to stop talking out of our butts! I will not say I'm totally innocent, but I will say that I do genuinely care about everyone. I want to make a difference, make lives better, because you never know what a couple of kind words can do to change someone's life. I don't know how many times at skating I just wanted to go and die and give up and DJ Dave said something nice or flattering to me and I was like "Hey! I matter to someone!". Thanks, Dave. A lot of you have done that for me, and I couldn't appreciate it more. A smile or a nice "hi" could be enough to make someone's day. Just remember to think before you act and speak, as corny as it is, it could save someone.

The point is to change yours.

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