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You know you are in Texas when...................................SmoknJokes

  Author:  54570  Category:(Humor) Created:(7/24/2003 10:54:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1292 times)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN THE SUMMER WHEN.....

1. The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

2. The trees are whistling for the dogs.

3. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

4. Hot water now comes out of both taps.

5. You can make sun tea instantly.

6. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

7. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

8. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

9. You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

10. You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 6:00 a.m.

11. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the payment and cook to death?"

12. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

13. The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

14. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

15. The cows are giving evaporated milk.

NO WHERE BUT TEXAS....RIGHT?????



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Replies:      
Date: 7/24/2003 11:02:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    I have to agree, Smokin'Joe. Need to light a cigarette? Just touch the end of the stogie to the hood of my car..lol..It is wicked hot down here. These were cool Write on....  
Date: 7/24/2003 11:12:00 PM  From Authorid: 24704    Hey it was actually pretty cold here today, what was it? 93?  
Date: 7/25/2003 12:12:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 54570    LOL well I wish I could send some of this cool relaxing rainfall here in NC to you all.  
Date: 7/25/2003 1:28:00 AM  From Authorid: 26452    No where but in Texas? I disagree, ever been to arizona?? lol 95  
Date: 7/25/2003 1:29:00 AM  From Authorid: 26452    darn it lol it didn't let me finish, 95 IS cool around here... lol  
Date: 7/25/2003 1:50:00 AM  From Authorid: 40543    110 here with about 1000 percent humidity..kansas is where its hot  
Date: 7/25/2003 1:50:00 AM  From Authorid: 62116    The bad part is, 3 - 11 aren't even much of an exaggeration. When I was a kid, in Killeen, TX, we used to sit bugs (especially slugs) on the asphalt and watch them sizzle.. no joke. Our parents would warn us time and time again to stay away from the edges of the street because the tar on the edges of the street would become liquified and, if stepped on, would literally burn the skin off your feet. Georgia isn't much better. I love the south and can't imagine living anywhere else. ~Nytwolf~  
Date: 7/25/2003 2:24:00 AM  From Authorid: 26452    LoL I remembered this commercial talking about being barefoot in arizona, running from shady area to shady area in hopes of not burning your feet too bad.. My mom did that when she was a bad lol.  
Date: 7/25/2003 2:26:00 AM  From Authorid: 26452    a kid LOL I haveno clue where I got bad...sorry.  
Date: 7/25/2003 6:33:00 AM  From Authorid: 25390    You know you're in Texas when you turn your air conditioner on and STILL sweat! :P  
Date: 7/25/2003 11:46:00 AM  From Authorid: 45906    lmbo same goes for okla! oh you forgot you dont need a oven you can bake in your car........ <para  
Date: 7/25/2003 5:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 48250    LOL These are Great!! SmoknJoe..My Brother just came in from work..., lol He liked them as well....Here Lately I've been telling him & Friends about Your & Wooden Nickel's Hilarious Humor...lol...Keep'em Coming!! Have a Great Weekend..T/C....  
Date: 7/25/2003 7:52:00 PM  From Authorid: 61966    LoL!! Good ones! I'm in NC too Smokin'Joe...lots of rain here too, its better than being burned up in the heat.  
Date: 8/12/2003 10:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 53900    Well I would say no where but Texas but I live in Florida and these apply here too  
Date: 10/7/2005 12:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 51292    LOL..that is soo funny! I like the one about wrecking your bike and cooking yourself on the pavement! HAHHAHA!! Hey you should do one of these for Kentucky..I think that would be interesting. Awesome post, thanks!   

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