One Last Goodbye -- Part 14: A Christmas Eve With Kayla -screen_writer-

The snow came and went, only seven inches (not the snow storm forecasters were predicting), with the first flakes falling on the day of Heather’s burial. On Sunday the 24th of December – Christmas Eve, a week after the burial, Kayla took a drive out to Huston’s Field – a park were everyone hung out during the summer. Some small shops surrounded the perimeter of the park, like covered wagons circling a camp sight. Kayla parked next to the old firehouse, which was now an art gallery.

A lot had changed since she and Heather were kids. The balloon shop that Grandma Edith used to take Heather and Kayla to on the weekends was gone; replaced by a store that sold comic books. The dollar department store (which town folks called the three story yard sale) had burned down, and was replaced by a fancy steak house that had live jazz bands playing on the weekends. And the arcade was now a high priced clothing store. A sign reading: For Lease Information Call 555- 8934, hung in the window of Ruth’s General Store. Just a week ago the sign in the window read: Closed Until Further Notice. All the stores looked beautiful with snow covering them, and Christmas decorations on them. But Kayla didn’t like what they were underneath the snow. She had a tuff time with change. Like losing her best friend. Certainly the shops weren’t for the kids anymore, but the park still belonged to them, so that’s where she headed.

Snow blanketed the park, undisturbed. The sight was breathtaking (unless you’re grieving for your best friend). She sat down on a bench, reached down, and brushed the snow off of a cement square; a tear filled her eye. The square read: Kayla and Heather 1994. They had written their names in that wet cement on a warm spring day; Kayla smiled, remembering that day. She ran a twig in the grooves, which made up the names, just like she and Heather did back in 1994. Gravity took Kayla’s tears from her eyes, down her reddening cheeks, and down to the cement block below, were they froze. Nothing could have bothered Kayla at that moment – not even the bitter cold – she was in a trance (her secret place), the place Scott went when he thought of Heather’s eyes, the place Heather went to when she thought of her grandma. Suddenly, she couldn’t think of the past anymore. It hurt too much.

Kayla blamed herself for Heather’s death. It was her who didn’t tell Ms. McCray what those three letters meant; it was her who asked Heather to come out there to Furlong Meadows that night. Her best friend was gone, and she blamed herself. She got up off the bench, and walked out of the park… she didn’t want to hurt anymore.

That Christmas Eve Scott left his guitar in the corner of his room; there would be no practicing tonight. He held a pen in his hand instead, sitting at his desk, Heather’s poem book opened in front of him. Earlier that day Scott was reading the poem book – which Judith gave to him to remember Heather by. Tears filled his eyes when he read the last thing she wrote, the scribble in the back of the book about not being scared of life anymore… about doing something with her life. He decided to write her a letter. He wrote:

Hey Heather, I wanted to have a chance to say goodbye. You got to say goodbye to me, and it meant so much to me. But I never got a chance to say goodbye to you. You meant so much to me. You’re an amazing person. I also want to thank you for showing me what love is; what true friendship is. I read your poem book; you were so talented. But there was something in there that brought me to tears… it crushed me. You wrote that you wished that you would stop being scared of life, and that you wanted badly to do something with your life; to make a difference. Heather you have done something with your life. You made me a better person, you made Kayla a better person, your little brother looked up to you, and your mother adored you. But more important then that, Heather, you inspired everyone that you were around, and with saying that you’ve done more with your life at seventeen then most people can do in their whole life. You’ve touched people in ways very few people have the ability to do. I want you to know this. Again, thank you for being my Truelove, and my best friend. I Love You, Scott.

Scott folded the letter, put it in an envelope, and sealed it with a kiss. On the front of the envelope he wrote one word… Heaven.

Two hours later Kayla was in a dark bathroom, sitting in her empty bathtub. The orange, and yellows of the setting sun slanted in on Kayla through the half opened blinds, lining her tear streaked face with light. The tubs fiberglass was cold against Kayla’s skin. A razor sat, ominously, on the side of the tub. Black eyeliner streaked down Kayla’s cheeks. The crying had ended – there were no more tears in her.

The thoughts of her best friend were relentless. ‘If I didn’t call her, she’d still be alive’, she thought, ‘and if I’m responsible for her death, then why should I live’. These thoughts kept circling in her head. She picked up the razor blade ready to use it… Then, out of nowhere, and without warning, another thought came to her… Birds… The two birds.

The two birds… Kayla’s eyes closed, her memory took her back to the past summer, suddenly she was sitting shotgun in Heather’s brand new Nova, which was in the parking lot of Huston’s Field, Heather was behind the wheel. It was July – a hot July night in the park. The sounds of skateboards hitting cement, and mingling high school kids filled the air outside the car; it was a busy summer night, just like most summer nights in the park. Heather had Third Eye Blind playing, at a low volume on her car stereo; the song “Background”. Neither girl had a serious worry in the world.

“How much do you think about him?” Kayla asked.

“My dad? All the time… mostly at night lying in bed.”

“Yeah… I think about my parent’s everyday. I wish I could remember more about them. Everything I do remember is good though.” Kayla said.

“Yeah… I try to think good things about him before I fall asleep, but… then the pictures of the accident from the newspaper pop up in my head. The harder I try not to think of those pictures the easier they come into my head. I wish I’d never seen them. But I never go to sleep with bad thoughts in my head – you know, just in case something happens – I always think of the two birds.”

“Two birds?” Kayla asked with a grin.

Heather laughed, thinking how silly it sounded, and then said, “Yeah, the two birds. You see, heading back from the burial of my dad, I was driving home with my mother. I was just staring out the window thinking about my dad, and grandma. And during that time in the car I started to question believe in God. I mean, Timmy was just born, and a few days later his daddy was killed in a car accident. What kind of God would allow that to happen?”

Kayla said, “That’s exactly how I feel about my parents death.”

Heather continued, “Well, let me tell you something Kayla, as we drove onto the exit ramp to get onto Highway 1 there was these two birds perched on the guardrail up ahead of the car. And as our car got closer both of them took off together, but one of them, I guess thought the car was too close, and turned back, and perched himself back onto the guardrail. A second later the one who kept going saw that he was alone, so he turned back to join his sweetie, and that one did almost get hit by our car. I just thought it was sweet. You know, the one bird risked death to be with his sweetie… so he wouldn’t be alone. After seeing that… I knew there was a God. Sure they were just birds, but they were God’s creatures, and they still cared for one another. If there wasn’t a God, then why do we as humans care about anything?”

“And that’s what you fall asleep thinking of? The two birds.”

Smirking, Heather said, “Yeah… Silly isn’t it?”

“It’s not silly.”

“Well…” Heather trailed off. “Just never go to bed with bad thoughts.”

“I won’t.” Kayla said.

I won’t… Kayla thought about this conversation over and over (I won’t). And she came to the conclusion that if falling asleep with bad thoughts was bad, then if your last thoughts before dieing are bad… there’s no waking up ever again… to think of anything. It was a risk she didn’t want to take. She put the razor down, got out of the tub, and left the room.

That Christmas Eve Kayla decided to go to midnight mass. She walked the five blocks to church. It was a clear night, and the stars were beautiful – especially the North Star which was the brightest, and most beautiful. The breeze was strong, but felt good blowing through her hair. The night was so cool it warmed her soul. The smile waiting behind her lips wanted to come out, but didn’t just yet.

The church was intimidating to her – the size, the look – she had never been inside of one, and after her parents died she had no desire to ever step foot into a church. Inside, a choir sang, relieving some of her nervousness. She opened the large wooden door, and the choir’s volume rose, floating away, down the block, in the night breeze.

She walked in and sat down, the pews were bare of people – a few scattered here and there. The choir was made up of children. They were singing “O Holy Night”. It was the most wonderful, and beautiful thing Kayla had ever heard. She wasn’t really sure of her emotions. The tears filled her eyes, and rushed down her cheeks. An older fellow approached her, and asked: “Are you alright, dear?”

Kayla looked up at the man, his face seemed warm, and inviting; she could tell he was a kind, and gentle soul. The smile on her face was grand. “I’m fine.” She said, “These are tears of joy. Thank you.” The older gentleman sat down beside Kayla; and, without realizing what she was doing, Kayla’s thoughts spilled out of her mouth, “I lost my parents when I was seven, and I hated God… for a while I didn’t even believe in him. But now, after I just lost my best friend… I… I believe. Isn’t that strange?”

The older gentleman replied with, “The Lord works in mysterious ways my dear.”

Kayla shook her head, and said, “He sure does… he sure does.” She listened to the choir for a little while longer. After leaving the church, Kayla walked the streets of Johanna, thinking about the good times with Heather, and the good times with her parents. She got home at one thirty, and slept until noon on Christmas Day. It was her first good sleep in a week.

To Be Continued…

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