My advice to you~~~TarHeelGirl

Today I talked with a friend who needed some advice on how to help his girlfriend get over a situation that wasn't quite considered rape..but very very close. I can't describe it here because this is a G-rated site and the details are terrible.

I was abused as a child and I know that the only thing that has helped me get past it was to talk about it. I was made to feel by some that if I talked about it, I was "feeling sorry for myself" So, I held it in for years...ashamed, not wanting others to feel sorry for me. Then I became friends with people that encouraged me to talk about it...to get it out of my system.

This was hard for me...I felt like others would think I was just looking for sympathy. But it did help me. I eventually "talked it to death" and came to a point in which I could handle it.

My advice to my friend was to encourage her to talk...scream, cry, yell...whatever...just get it out. This is my advice to all of you. If you have been raped/abused/sexually degraded in anyway...talk about it....the longer you hold it in, the harder it will get to deal with it. Find someone you feel comfortable with who is willing to lend you a crying shoulder, and get it out.

If you know someone who has been in this situation, encourage them to talk...and be there to listen as much as possible. Just listen and provide comfort. They will never get over it if they don't face it. Assure them that talking about it isn't them feeling sorry for themselves. Make sure they know that they have nothing to be ashamed of.

Thanks to the wonderful people that helped me..my friends..I no longer have nightmares...I no longer shy away from people. I still have some issues to work out...but I have come a long way.

I know for some this seems like a simple concept..that everyone should know this..but I know many that still hold it in. Thousands of people in the US today still suffer from the memory of what was done to them and have nobody to talk to. Please, talk about it..or if you know someone who has gone through this...help them talk about it.

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