When Family Uses the internet to spy on you ~*~LadyShaman~*~

I've been here at USM for a while now, it's been sort of my "Safe Haven" a place to come and Vent when things pile up. I used to be a Poem poster here on usm, Writing about things that were hurtful from my past and using poetry as a way to deal with them. A while ago, Some things happened...Member's from my family stumbled upon my works here on USM. One of those people were my mother (who most of the poetry was about) and the other one was my AUNT (My mother's Sister).

Come to find out, my Aunt has been a member here at USM for Years now as well and she had been Calling up my Grandmother (My Mother's mother) and reading my poetry from here to her. Needless to say, it caused quite a stink and left me feeling rather violated. Inevitably, it ended with me being disowned by my Mother's mother...who insists my poetry and writings were lies...etc.

It would be one thing if I really new my aunt that well, but this is an aunt who doesn't have anything to do with me, never did, and never will. She doesn't know me & has never taken the time to know me. My Grandmother Just barely got to know me over these past 8 yrs and now what relationship I formed with her has been Ruined.

I'm not a saint, nor will I say I've ever been and yes, there have been times when dealing with my mother I've become too Emotionally confused and have handled things wrong. But Me and my Mother always make up and work things out, regardless of our pasts and our wrongs. We love each other. And as long as we love each other we will work things out.

But Why would a family that has little to nothing to do with you try to Cause such a stink? It makes no sense to me. If They wanted to get to know me, why not just call or write a letter? Why Spy and gossip about it with assumptions of what and WHO you think I am? Why not try to discover who I am yourself without forming opinions off of lies, gossip, half truths, and assumptions?

The Gossip and Manipulations have cost me and my Children Dearly. I now have a grandmother that I worked so hard on forming a relationship with hating me & My CHildren. I've heard through the grapevine that my grandmother stated that the baby I now carry in my womb is considered not to even exist in her eyes. My Grandmother who used to acknowledge Birthdays and holidays for my children now sends no cards, and ignores them when she see's them and hears them calling her name on the street. My Grandmother thinks for some reason I'm a Money Grubber and a Tramp ( I've been married for three years, been with the same man for almost over 5).

I tried to kind of "Patch things up" by sending a Christmas card early in November last year (I am pretty forgetful and often end up forgetting mailing out the cards all together) and my message to my grandmother in the letter was "Regardless of the current circumstances, you are still fondly remembered during this Christmas season". My Grandmother took it as a way to kiss up before the holidays to get money as well as a statement that she was "Dead" because I had the Word "Remembered" was in there...being past tense! I give up! Nothing I do will make things "Right" so why bother!?

Why Should I have to apologize for my writings & Poetry being written when it was never ment for family to stumble upon them? I mean, it hurt that family had nothing to do with me growing up for god's sake. How do you think it makes me feel that the same people who wanted nothing to do with me goes out of their way to ruin me and cause havok for me and my children? I apologized that anyone was hurt by my words, But I refused to apologize for my poetry because it wasn't ment to be found by them in the first place. If they didn't spy on me, they wouldn't have ever found it. I even went out of my way and changed my "Nick" so people wouldn't make the connection to me, out of respects for my mother and faimly. ( I was going by a Nick I used often on my AOL pager...etc)

Is it Just me, or would this stuff bug you as well? I think this stuff is bugging me more because of my hormones...LOL.

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