I am SO frustrated right now.................................Pigtails

My husband supposedly has a child with his ex. I say supposedly, because we've been told that she was cheating on him during the time when she got pregnant. He didn't find this out until after he had signed the birth certificate. The little boy is 3 now, and my husband has only seen him for a total of about 3 weeks, because the ex won't let Tim (my husband) see him. Since he broke up with her, he's been paying child support to her directly (without a court order). Since Tim and I got married, she has been harrassing us constantly, and threatening me. She's pretty much a psycho. She dropped out of high school, doesn't have a job, and relies on government assistance and her parents for everything.

She recently sued my husband for child support. He had to go to the court for a hearing yesterday. That in itself was infuriating. He was told to be there at 12:30pm. He and I, and his brother, who's been through child support hearings before, were there at about 12:15. He filled out the paper work, and just after 12:30, some woman comes out, and tells everyone waiting there that the court people decided to go out to lunch now, and they wouldn't be back until 1:30. We were all like, What? My brother in law had taken time off work to come, and then he had to call in for the rest of the day. I just thought it was incredibly rude to schedule people and then just take off for lunch. Like no one except judges and lawyers are allowed to have lives.

So, we came back later, and when my husband's name was called, they said no one could go in with him. I knew that both of us probably couldn't, but I couldn't understand why one person couldn't go in for support. It seemed very strange. He came out, and said that he had asked about getting a paternity test done, but they said that according to Fl law, he couldn't because he had signed the birth certificate. They were also trying to make him pay back child support, but luckily, he had proof that he had been giving money to the mother directly, so they couldn't do that. He had to wait to go into another court to sign the papers or something, and his brother was telling him that when he saw the judge, to tell him that he didn't find out until after the birth that she was cheating, and he hadn't suspected that he wasn't the father until later. SO, he was called again, and he came back, and said that the judge had granted him a paternity test. The woman state's attorney had objected, and the judge said, "I knew you would, but I'm giving it to him anyway." It seems like the women who work in the child support places see so many deadbeat dads that they assume that all the men are like that. They need to realize that not all men are trying to get out of something, that some of them are trying to do the right thing, and that THEY are the ones being taken advantage of. It's not ALWAYS the mother that's a helpless victim.

In this case, the mother, like I said doesn't have a job, so she's eligable for free legal aid and everything, but us, since my husband has a decent job, we have too much money to get any free legal help, but there is no way we could afford a lawyer. So we have to basically do everything ourselves, and hope we don't screw it up. All the while this lazy thing sits around, does nothing, and the goverenment is doing everything for her.

Basically, my husband is not trying to get out of anything. If the kid is his, he will pay. He's never ever tried to run away from his responsibility. In fact, if the kid's not his, his brother says that he should sue to get back the money that he's already given her, but I know he won't do that. That worries me, only because we hardly have enough money right now to get by ourselves. Not to mention that in a few months we will have a baby of our own. I plan on getting a job after the baby's born, but I'm not working now, and no one will hire a woman who's 6 months pregnant! Tim keeps telling me not to worry, but I can't help it.

Arrrgggghhhh!!!!!!

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