Date: 6/16/2003 7:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 22275
you have to tell him. I fyou love himyou wouldnt hide this from him. He deserves to know.  |
Date: 6/16/2003 7:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 25856
tell him, because sooner or later, he will find out. he will still be angry if you tell him, but he would be more hurt if he found this out from someone else.  |
Date: 6/16/2003 7:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 46069
you know .. i have changed my views on this... cause i would have always said to tell him... fess up , be open and honest.... then one day , my hub and i were having this converstion... and he said that if i was ever to cheat on him.. that he did not ever want to know.... it shocked the heck out of me....  |
Date: 6/16/2003 7:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 60395
he'll find out eventually so it is better to tell him now  |
Date: 6/16/2003 7:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 36994
I agree, keeping it a secret would make things worser, you should definately tell him, put yourself in his place, that sometimes helps  |
Date: 6/16/2003 7:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 8278
first of all, if you keep it a secret, it will drive you insane! it will constantly be on your mind. also, the truth always comes out eventually. it is better to tell him now and pray he forgives you. it does sound like you are truely regretful for doing it. i always tell my husband i can forgive any truth he tells me...but i can never forgive a lie. he has cheated on me in the past, but we worked through it. i think cheating is one of the worst things to do as well...but, to me, lying is much worse. best of luck to you.  |
Date: 6/16/2003 8:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
Welp if was me, I would tell him! I couldn't stand the lie & guilt! What happens is caused from your own doings! I'm sorry! You should tell him!  |
Date: 6/16/2003 8:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 49037
Eek, that's a tough one. If you love him, and you tell him, you risk losing him, but if you don't tell him, there's always the chance of him finding out somewhere else, and that would make it much worse. I do think that relationships have to be built on honesty and trust, so maybe if you're honest with him from the start, he'll eventually understand. But you may need to give him some time to forgive you.  |
Date: 6/16/2003 8:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 6915
Tell him and see what happens. Drinking and drugs is NO excuse for what you did. And he deserves to know what he's getting into if he marries you.  |
Date: 6/16/2003 8:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
you need to tell him he has a right to know.. would you like it if your BF fooled around behind your back and didn't tell you... it's not just the act that you did... but your also lieing and with-holding things that you should be open about.... you have to tell him and leave the ball in his court and let him make the next step... if he leaves you he has every right to(i'm sorry he does you can't deny that) if he chooses to work it out... that's great(but don't expect that) what is to stop you from doing this again? he has a right to know and make the choice  |
Date: 6/16/2003 9:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 21912
tell him!! trust me he'll eventually find out, see you can tell him be honest with him, and sure he'll be mad but imagine if u never told him and he found out from someone else, he'd be so much more hurt and would surely dump you. Maybe this way you can work things out now. And i'm not sure if this happens to you but when i feel guilty or stressed about something i feel very sick so don't make urself sick over it. This way you could also get it off your shoulders. Good luck  |
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Date: 6/16/2003 9:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 21912
i know sk8er said that her husband wouldn't want to know but everyone else i've talked like the guys have all said they'd rather know...i think it's just a different opinion but i think the majority would |
Date: 6/17/2003 1:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 13897
first, if you want to tell him- ask yourself why. to make yourself feel better? that's selfish. why will it do him any good to know that you cheated on him? it's not like you're having an on-going affair. you messed up once. if you tell him, do you think any good will come from it? he will feel horrible and so will you. if it didn't mean anything, i don't see why you need to put him through that pain. but it's your choice. that's just one opinion.  |
Date: 6/17/2003 2:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
I dont agree with the others..Telling him isnt benefitting him any..its benefitting yourself..If you are sure your friend will never tell I would keep it to yourself..Why hurt him when you dont have to. You can make this up to him by treating him the way he deserves to be treated and knowing this will never happen again. I dont think telling him is going to do anyone any good..Just my opinion.  |
Date: 6/17/2003 3:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 62146
I can't be much help but I hope things work out for you.
*Cosmic Freak*  |
Date: 6/17/2003 4:10:00 AM
From Authorid: 22852
If he doesn't ask then don't tell. I have many men friends and a husband and they all agree that they would rather not know. Now if you were to continue cheating then you should speak up but since it was a one time thing and you were under the influence of alcohol then I say leave it alone, do not hurt him to ease your own guilt.  |
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Date: 6/17/2003 4:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 22852
Just read LadyLucks reply.. Listen to us, we are older and know more on this subject.. trust us. |
Date: 6/17/2003 4:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 53013
I agree cheating is the worst! Not to make you feel any worse than you already do. OK, so you say you want to spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend, do you really want to carry around baggage?? I mean if you don't be honest about this now, where will it end? You did the crime, now you have to do the right thing and confess. Secrects are never a good thing. Besides what do you think it will do to him if he hears it from someone else? Good luck and remember honesty is the best policy!  |
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Date: 6/17/2003 4:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 53013
Sorry, if I came off harsh but that's my opinon. I certainly hope you do tell your boyfriend he has the right to know. |
Date: 6/17/2003 6:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 57579
I think that it would be a alot better if you told him. Cuz what would happen if he heard it from someone else. I've been in his shoes before. I told my now ex b/f that if he ever cheated to tell me. Well he did and didnt tell me and I heard it from a bunch of other people. The sad thing was I told him to tell me just the day before!!  |
Date: 6/17/2003 6:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 36901
This is probably going to make you mad, but you did ask for opinions. I don't understand how you can claim to love him "more than life itself" and then cheat on him. I could never do that to someone I love. Another thing...It isn't such a good idea to drink and smoke if you can't control yourself. I agree with Gail. I wouldn't tell him. You might want to think long and hard about why this actually happened though and try not to make the same mistake again.  |
Date: 6/17/2003 7:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
You have to tell him.. HE DESERVES TO KNOW. I know, it's hard. But you have to.  |
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Date: 6/17/2003 7:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
Personally, it would play on my guilt too much. I just flashed someone and I had to tell my boyfriend. Even though I didn't feel it was cheating, he was still hurt by it. BUT eventually, we worked it out and came out STRONGER through it! |
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Date: 6/17/2003 7:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
Might I add, that I don't just go around flashing people.. that was like, I don't even know WHAT was going through my head. OK thanks. lol |
Date: 6/17/2003 7:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 46486
You not telling your boyfriend is going to bother you night and day until you tell him. I'd just tell him.  |
Date: 6/17/2003 8:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 58611
I say if it is a one time thing let it be..this will hurt him terribly...but shame on you for being so foolish, alcohol isnt an excuse and if you cant control yourself then dont drink.  |
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Date: 6/17/2003 8:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
Amen Aqua |
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Date: 6/17/2003 10:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 13897
LadyLuck- you know, that's exactly what i was trying to say, but of course you said it so much better. hehe. i agree! oh, with Storm Chaser too. |
Date: 6/17/2003 11:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 31765
I'm with LadyLuck and StormChaser and Magenta. Telling him is absolving you of your own guilt. It does nothing for him. However, if you didn't take precautions and had unprotected sex, I'd definitely keep an eye on things. It only takes once to get an STD, HIV, or pregnant.  |
Date: 6/17/2003 12:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 48279
Trust me, he'll find out. I dont care if its 50 years from now, he will and he wont hear it from you which will make it sound even worse. You need to tell him. He has the right to know. Esspecially since you love him so much! I understand you were drunk and whatnot, but maybe you should second guess drinking if your going to cheat. just a suggestion. ~ hereisanameforyou  |
Date: 6/17/2003 6:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 47113
you know, they say with time things we do and feel guilty about always comes out eventually one way or another...whether its just your own subconscious feeling guilty, or someone you confide in eventually tells the wrong person and all leaks out...truths always have a way of coming out...it all depends on whether or not you can live with this guilt...personally, i couldn't...trust is a special gift you bestow on someone you love....you said you love him more then life itself, but do you love him enough to be honest and risk losing him because he deserves the truth from you?? i think he deserves that much...remember, we're only human and we all make mistakes so don't feel like your all alone...you've made the same mistake many have, but at least you realized what you did and your heart is telling you to do the right thing or you wouldn't be feeling soo guilty...i guess your thinking of the consequences of telling him the truth and losing him, but what about the consequences of not telling him??? just depends what you can live with...and as the saying goes, if its truely meant to be he will forgive you...  |
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Date: 6/17/2003 7:20:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 39372
Thank you to all the replied. I still haven't told him the truth of what happened. I was driving with him today and I was silent and he kept asking me what was wrong. I can't bring myself to tell him the truth about what I've done. I'm so afraid of losing him. Of course, I know that it may leak out somehow and it would be a lot worse. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so lost right now. I know alcohol is not an excuse and I know that I get really bad when I'm drunk. Thank you for all your suggestions and advice, but I guess I have to decide what I'm going to do about this myself. |
Date: 6/17/2003 9:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 56489
You screwed up, keep it to yourself & act normal before he starts to ask questions. But if you can't control your alcohol I suggest you stop drinking unless your with him, cause it's not a very good excuse.  |
Date: 6/18/2003 1:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 38919
yea you should tell him. i am not so worried about this as i am about your boyfriend though. i know you "love him more than life itself" but perhaps you should rethink your relationship with him if he kicks you out of his house while you are obviously under the influence of alcohol and drugs. i think that is a much bigger issue. if he really cared about you he would have kept you under a roof. and then you went driving? you could have been killed!  |
Date: 7/4/2003 1:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 48531
It should be told to him. He has the right to know, the right to choose if he will forgive you! You cant play GOD and play with his emotions! If you love him you will tell him...and why you ask? If he finds out later what you have done and you are married....dont you think hes gonna have a TRUST issue with you! There is NO REASON to hide this, except to benifit yourself! AND WHO said that anything good should come out of it! Messing up is bad...why lie and make yourself look innocent when hes the one that is innocent!
Majority here speaks girl, I would want to know if my other half cheated on me, because it gives me the right to forgive/ or not to forgive! You CANT make thgat choice for me!  |
Date: 1/13/2006 9:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 16376
tell him, which you probably already did. lol  |
