Date: 6/11/2003 6:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 5349
men are pompous  |
Date: 6/11/2003 6:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 60018
Lol @ Bad Ashez. I don't know what makes them cheat but I know that if a guy ever cheated on me it would be a very interesting battle :P  |
Date: 6/11/2003 6:35:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
LOL. That is what I used to say. It took everything in me to keep from killing him. I'm not joking either. That is the ultimate betrayl. I can't spell. LOL. I don't get it. Thanks for replying.  |
Date: 6/11/2003 6:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
For the same reason's women cheat! They are only think of them selfs and their own needs!  |
Date: 6/11/2003 6:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 11341
Ditto MG's comment  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 6:42:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Now, I never said that women don't cheat. They do, I am just not one of them. I know how it feels and wouldn't do that to someone else. I couldn't do that to another woman. It's true it's purely selfish. One of the things that is most selfish next to suicide. That is my opinion. |
Date: 6/11/2003 6:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
Hmmm from my point of view I would say (A) he feels crowded (B) the excitement of someone new (C) to get out of a rut that he or she may be in where everything remains the same or constant. I have been cheated on twice and this much I can tell you. It wasnt pretty and one of them was for drugs and the euphoria it had. The other was like I said a new and exciting person that she went after. There I said my piece.  |
Date: 6/11/2003 6:54:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Thanks smokin' joe, I haven't heard from you in awhile, glad to see ya'. I do tend to agree with you. I think that the drug thing came into being with my situation also. A whole new environment for him. Something new in general. I'm probably lucky to have come out of that safely if ya know what I mean.  THanks for responding. |
Date: 6/11/2003 6:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
I think you've taken your experience with one man and generalized it to the entire male population, and it's not fair. The reasons that you listed are most likely why your husband cheated, and also probably why your relationship with him went sour. In other words, not all men are going to walk all over you, you just had a bad apple. As for the reasons why other men cheat-- I think the reasons are multitudinous, and they extend to both men and women-- escape from unhappiness in a current relationship, lust, fear of commitment, fear of getting old, lack of respect for their partner and the rest of humanity, etc.  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:01:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
MollyCat, it's not that I've "labeled" the male population as "cheating pigs". I never said that all men do it. Because that's not true. My BF right now doesn't. and wouldn't. He respects and loves me. The only thing that I have learned from this experience is that to be cautious and keep my eyes OPENED. I don't think I've been unfair. I NEVER said that women don't cheat. I know that they do, the girl my ex cheated on was married so duhh I do realize that. lol. The reasons that you stated are the same as my reasons just with fancier words. But thanks for your kind words. |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
Anything new and tantalizing is enough to make someone look the other way. To go with the daily "I know her up and down, boring talk bla-bla, when can I fall asleep, Has death forgotten me" type day is rather hum-drum. But it takes two to tango. Yes you should have tightened the reins a little. But at the same time you should have became more interesting, more open and outgoing with this person. Make life and the relationship a little more exciting. Both guys and gals will cheat. Thats human. Its in our very nature to do this. Women and men will turn thier heads and look at another person that walks by them that is typically more attractive. That in itself is a form of cheating. Not a bad form but you get the drift on that. You fantasize about that person for an instant and then you are on your merry way. As far as running them off that would occur if you took the reins and turned it into a noose. No slack at all and they will run. |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
i'd like to know this question also... i've been cheated on too....and i've also been hit and thrown around but that is a whole nother story  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:11:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Very true smokin' joe, You have no idea what I did for that man. I did make things more intresting for him. I tried to make him happy, even when I knew he wasn't happy, so I did the one thing that I knew would make him happy. Let him go. I do know that I should have tightened the reighns a little but the type of guy he was he did what ever the heck he wanted it didn't matter who he hurt, it's still that way now, he's cheating on this girl that he left me with. I know because I've seen him with other women. It's unreal really. *rolls eyes* I know in my heart that I did everything that I could. |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
I've been there before also Midnighty. It's no fun and it's not good for your self esteem. Like you said, another story isn't it. LOL, thanks for responding. |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 15070
testerone poisoning......:P  |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 15997
cause they are stupid, inconsiderate morons who think they are smart enough to get away with it. Men are never satisfied...they always feel there is someone better out there for them. they dont think with their brains thats for sure.  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:14:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Looney girl, I tend to agree with you on that one. |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 49498
women cheat just as much as men do. But you have to remember not every man cheats.. there are many many men out there who are very loyal to their significant other, and to say men are evil just isnt fair  |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 54987
Maybe it's the same reason why women cheat.  |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 61104
Girl you hold NO blame in hime cheating on you. He chose to do that. You did not put a gun to his head and say (well ya know LOL) he did that all on his own he could have chosen to work on your marriage but he did not do that he chose to "work it" with someone else. U are not to blame at all!!! BB  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:29:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
I never said that they are evil. I don't think men are. I do realize that not all men cheat. I figure the same goes for women. They cheat too. |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 36994
I agree with M.Man, seems like men only cheat, but unfortunately a lot of women out there cheat just as much, but theres the other men and women who as M. Man says are loyal to there spouses, I don't see how someone can do that behind their wifes, husbands, gfs, bfs, back, they should just end the whole relationship to end up getting more hurt or causing anymore resentment amongst themselves!  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 36994
Don't blame yourself for something he did, you deserve better then to be cheated on, you have a good heart, and someone just stomping on it just isn't the one you want to be with all your life who will probably do it again, you can do better then that, you deserve better, take cares alrighty? |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 54570
I agree with Gothgirl as well. If you did everything in your power to make it work and it didnt because he didnt try, then do not blame yourself. I tend to get overley zealous on certain issues and this happens to be one of them. Spouse/child Abuse is another |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:39:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Ya'll are so sweet, it's true that he'd do the same again if I let him in again. WHich I so certainly ain't gonna do again. LOL. Thanks ya'll. |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 57653
I think there are many different reasons for each person (man or woman) when it comes to cheating. But in the end it comes down to...they didn't love their significant other enough. If there is truly love there it wouldn't happen...PERIOD. The key to not cheating? Self control. If you love someone and want to spend your life with them and meet someone prettier, funnier, richer, smarter, WHATEVER it is, well if you have some control you will stop yourself from cheating because you know that what you have is worth more than an "upgrade" or a momentary "good time". A man who cheats on me will never do it again AND will live to regret it. My boyfriend knows how I stand...you think you want to be with someone else badly enough to cheat? Then obviously something isn't right in our relationship and break up with me BEFORE you do anything. I can walk away from that with some self-respect and maybe a friend.  |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
I know where your coming from, I used to say the same thing about my husband. That he would live to regret cheating on me. Now he does, finacially speaking. LOL I agree that if your wanting out then get out, don't hurt someone that way.
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 61104
Silver Fire I hate to tell you but no man in his right mind is going to "tell" you anything they will just do it because if they are sleezy enough to do it in the first place then they are sleezy enough to do it behind your back. BB |
Date: 6/11/2003 7:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
I know where your coming from, I used to say the same thing about my husband. That he would live to regret cheating on me. Now he does, finacially speaking. LOL I agree that if your wanting out then get out, don't hurt someone that way.
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 57653
Oh I agree Goth Girl. But that's how things stand with my man. It's my way of giving an "out". No reprecussions, just end it. But a woman must have SOME trust and faith in her man...or something is, again, wrong with the relationship (or will cause problems) and so I trust my boyfriend to follow that rule. Until proven otherwise lol. If proven otherwise, like I said...it's over. No hesitation. I'm worth more than that and can do better, so why stick around? |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 61104
Good for you silver fire |
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Date: 6/11/2003 7:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 57653
I just wish more women thought that way. Maybe its because I didn't date a lot in my teenage years/early 20's? I know what it's like to be alone and I'm okay with it. Sure I LOVE being in a relationship with my boyfriend. But I know I can handle being alone and still be happy. |
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Date: 6/11/2003 8:00:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
I think that's great Silver fire. I know that I'm fine with or without a man. My BF right now loves me and I know that he wouldn't hurt me that way, he's been cheated on, I think that it could have something to do with haveing being hurt that way that makes them less likely to do it to someone. I hope that you have better luck than me. |
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Date: 6/11/2003 8:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 57653
Thank you Angel and I hope you have better luck with this one! How long have you been together? |
Date: 6/11/2003 8:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 16849
For the same reasons women cheat.  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 8:09:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
We've been togeather about a year a little over a year. I've been divorced almost 2 years. I met my man right after I moved into my new house. He lived next door. LOL. |
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Date: 6/11/2003 8:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Lots of people keep saying "the same reasons as women cheat" I understand that women cheat also, but what are the reasons. |
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Date: 6/11/2003 8:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 57653
Awesome! I really hope things keep going well! I have been with my bf for just over 3 years and nothing yet. That I can tell anyway.... |
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Date: 6/11/2003 9:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
the point is, Angel, that rather than trying to make a generalization, based on one experience, for the entirety of malekind, perhaps we can say that the motivation for cheating varies quite a bit depending on individual circumstances, and that perhaps gender isn't one of the contributing factors since men and women have similar motivations for doing it. |
Date: 6/11/2003 9:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 17014
I think that married men cheat because, after the house, the kids, the vacation house and yad yada yada get accomplished and they get to where they want to be, they think 'This is it?' This is the rest of my life? Soem are happy with that and the rest-- they want a taste of excitement and different experiences and such...i could be wrong...  |
Date: 6/11/2003 9:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 21867
I have never once, EVER, cheated on any partner I have been with...despite being tempted on a number of occasions while in relationships. When I was with that person, I was loyal to them, loved them, wanted them and them alone. However, almost EVERY woman I have ever been out with has cheated on me. So...you ask why do men cheat?? Probably the very same reason women do. Peace,  |
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Date: 6/11/2003 9:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 21867
...I see other people have given you the same answer. Personally I couldn't give you an answer, as I don't know myself...having never cheated...perhaps you can ask a cheater. Peace, |
Date: 6/11/2003 10:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 28767
Because the guy must be insecure or just a plain old @!^$%.. Peace Out..  |
Date: 6/11/2003 10:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 53558
It is what some 'Blokes' do, Angel 2001, they think it is their God given right. Great big hugs. Take care.  |
Date: 6/12/2003 12:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 61893
I think men cheat for sex and women cheat for affection. Most the men that I know that have cheated on their wife was for a younger more attractive woman. I do think they get bored or something. However, I know from personal experience that SOME women cheat when their husband has totally lost interest in them, doesn't treat them right, treat them like they are invisiable..etc I say some men cheat for the same exact reason. There is no righting a wrong, it is wrong no matter why they did it. However, it does happen. It can even happen to the person that says, "I would NEVER cheat, that is just wrong." I'm not saying that it WILL, I am just saying that it can and has happen. I am sorry that this happen to you. Some people can forgive the affair, work on their marriage, be very happily married years later, and never cheat or think of cheating again. However, it does not always happen that way. Either way, life does go on, we are not gonna make it outta this life alive, so make the best of every day  |
Date: 6/12/2003 12:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 62100
I agree with most everyone here, people chaet for a multitude of reasons..but if they DO it there must be something wrong and it is up to each individual cheated on whether they decide to attempt to fix the problem or move on..I think that some people do regret cheating and it could be a one time thing that hurts them as much as the person that they cheated on..but the majority of the time that is not so. I was tempted to cheat on my ex-boyfriend but I had the willpower to make a clean break with him and move out and get settled into a new place with my daughter before acting on my thoughts...needless to say the temptation was a quick "fling" and afterwards it was a year before I got with my current boyfriend. We have now been together for almost two years and things are wonderful and although he was a bonafide "player" in his day he is more than happy to be with me and just me...admittedly there are some days when I wonder if his eyes will start wandering again someday but when he looks at me and tells me how much he loves me and I can see it in his eyes that it is true..all of my fears fade. I know that my fears are borne of my self-conciousness and I am getting much stronger and more sure of myself..bottom line I know that we have something special and that this is the real deal.  |
Date: 6/12/2003 12:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 29806
Here's a better question. Why do women cheat? That's not the question I'm thinking of though, it's: "How come women are so much better at hiding the fact that they are cheating so well?"
Or, how about this one? "How come when a woman cheats, she somehow finds a way to blame the man?" -ID-  |
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Date: 6/12/2003 1:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 53052
i admit i had dealt with alot of cheating... i just think it was in this guys nature with how he acted.. i constantly caught him in a lie and he would deny deny deny... he he would try to push me into things i didn't want to do and belittle me and treat me horribly... i don't think i can ever forget any of that... he even called me up 6 months after he left town(he hadn't spoken to me in 6 months.. he called a few times and hung up right as i tried to accept his COLLECT call for the first week or so that he was gone...back to the story*L*).... after him being gone 6 months... he calls a former friend of mine out of the blue.. scared her sh...less she was shaking... asking her questions about where i was and why i wasen't home when he called me and who i was hanging out with(basically grilled her) because he found out(i still don't know how) that i was dating another guy(this is 6 MONTHS after he had left town with no contact did the idiot expect me to pine and wait forever??) he said he would keep in contact and that he had tried(another lie!) it left me quite shaken... and the guy i was dating... i'm still with him now.. over 3 years later... this guy would rather break down in tears then lay a hand on me in pain.. he would rather put his fist through a wall then see me upset...he would go out of his way just to make me smile... the guy i am with now.. is a real man... and i hope every girl finds a guy like him...they are out there.. they are just a little harder to find |
Date: 6/12/2003 5:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 22852
Well I hate to say this but I disagree with you. I think cheating is in a mans genes. My husband was/is the perfect husband and when he cheated everyone was so shocked that I think they were hurt more than I was. Now some of you may blast me for saying this but I think sometimes an affair is good for a marriage as long as it is just an affair and no one is out to hurt anyone. I do not know of a single man who has not cheated on his wife, not one and although that is a sad thing I have to admit my marriage is stronger now then it was before.  |
Date: 6/12/2003 5:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 42792
The thought of my man cheating on me makes feel nauseated.  |
Date: 6/12/2003 7:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 15232
Cuz they're scum. LOL j/k I think it's the way men are wired. They have crazy hormones, and are too weak to control their will power and stay committed to one woman. Grrr.  |
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Date: 6/12/2003 7:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 15232
^^ To clarify...I don't mean all men are too weak and are scum...just the ones who actually cheat. |
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Date: 6/12/2003 7:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 15232
Oh yeah, and if my man cheated on me...I'd pull a Lorena Bobbitt on him!!! |
Date: 6/12/2003 7:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 61999
If my man cheated on me, I'd -- I can't type that here... let's just say I'd black out and wake up covered in blood. (his or mine? I dunno) ~~The Mighty DreamGyrl~~  |
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Date: 6/12/2003 9:26:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Man, you go to bed and the debates really get started. LOL. I understand where all of you are coming from. Like I said, I know that WOMEN cheat. I'm not one of them. As far as women cheating better than men, I really don't have any facts on that. Seeing that I've never cheated, but I can't imagine that they ALWAYS get away with it, it maybe true that they find a way to blame the man, but that's true in both cases. Men sometimes blame the women for them cheating, just because they KNOW they were wrong and tried to get out of it. Men can be scum, but women can be also. I don't know if it's something in the genes. It may be. I however would NEVER be able to trust my man if he cheated, I dont' think that women or men that have taken back a cheater truly believe them again. It may take time, but how much would that trust be. |
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Date: 6/12/2003 9:30:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Storm Chaser, how can you say that an affair could be a GOOD thing in a marriage? I don't understand that and I don't agree. I think that it's a horrible thing to happen to someone. Someone ALWAYS gets hurt. I can't imagine it making the relationship stronger, I would think it would break it down. Trust is a big word and it's the mortar in the foundation of a relationship. I can't imagine any relationship lasting after the betrayle of knowing your wife or husband went outside the marriage. It's awful. In my opinion it's almost unforgivable. Thank you all for responding. |
Date: 6/12/2003 12:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 12835
Because their wives are mean ?  |
Date: 6/12/2003 12:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 44321
I think men/women cheat because they think the grass is greener on the other side.Or else they say they just couldn't help themselves..I really can't say why  |
Date: 6/12/2003 3:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 43948
For the same reason women do! to get some action, or they're simply unhappy with their current relationship. Yes, women do enjoy action, I speak for myself.  |
Date: 6/13/2003 5:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 51463
I like -ID-'s response the best, from the male point of view I would have to say that there's sometimes a bad relationship or an insecurity. But I still go along with -ID-, how are you so good at hiding the facts? =-bootz-=  |
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Date: 6/13/2003 7:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 21867
...totally agrees with ID as well...and quite frankly sick to death of the whole insidious 'Men are Scum' ethos that stinks its way through SOOO much of what we see and hear. Seems you're 50% guilty to start with by the virtue of being born male. Peace, |
Date: 6/13/2003 10:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 22080
YAY i love how women just pin men with ALL the cheating and not to mention the fact they think all guys do it, come walk with me through reality and notice that women are just as bad, its a primal instinct  |
Date: 6/14/2003 7:09:00 AM
From Authorid: 50435
Why do women cheat?  |
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Date: 6/14/2003 7:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 50435
Someone will get hurt when someone cheats. But what is defined as cheating? Many would say that when a couple are together and one of the partners has sexual relations with somebody other than his/her partner. But what if both partners agree to have sex with other people? Is it still cheating? |
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Date: 6/14/2003 6:53:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 24845
Gallychuck, there's something to chew on. I have no idea. LOL. FOR THE RECORD: I did not say that ALL men cheat. That ALL men are pigs. I am saying that there are a certain number of men out there that do, but seeing as I'm female, I wouldn't know how it felt to be cheated on by a GIRL! I'm speaking from my own experience and I have NOT ruined my perspective of men. I think that there are very decent guys out there. I'm sure there is a guy somewhere in the world that wouldn't do that to the person he loves. Jeeze, you all jumped on my phrasing. Next time I'll try to make it clearer. Even though I don't know how I can make it clearer with saying that WOMEN DO IT TOO. LOL LOL LOL. Thank you all for responding, this was fun. |
Date: 6/18/2003 8:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 51070
Some people are just jerks. And some have their reasons to be stray cats, as you pointed out. Still, I think that if a man doesn't want to be around his wife anymore and would rather be with some other bimbo, then they should just file a divorce. But either way, someone will get hurt. Some people are jerks.  |
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Date: 6/18/2003 8:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 51070
And I must add that if I caught my husband cheating on me, he'd be singing soprano real nicely. |
Date: 6/22/2003 10:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 37872
I think that its because there are not enough single people in the world. Yep, if everyone were single, then there would be no cheating. Sure there would still be a lot of lying and conniving acts, but no cheating. There are too many people involved in relationships that should not be in relationships but are for some other silly reason or another; knowing full well that they are capable of cheating on their spouse and incapable of holding back those tendencies yet never admitting to those tendencies the whole time your involved with them. They'll treat it like a little white lie, deny it, or ignore it....yet it's there waiting for that right moment to destroy you. "I never intended for that to happen" or "It just happened"; yet it's always some how your fault. Men do it because they're dogs; women do it because they think they're men are dogs---whatever! People do it because they can't be truthful to themselves let alone to the people they supposedly love; that's why they should remain single no matter what. For the sake of virtue and honest, trustworthy people all over the world don't get into a relationship with someone unless you know yourself first! God forbid that you decide that you have to find your true self in the middle of a relationship with someone that deserved better in ther first place.  |
Date: 7/12/2003 10:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 13897
i dunno.... women cheat too.  |
