The Phone of Satan

Sorry, I went a little crazy with the title of this post! The phone in question is my own. I bought it about five years ago and probably should have replaced it with another one a long time ago because of its strange behavior. There were times when I thought it was haunted. When I first got it, I sometimes had trouble hearing people on the other line, because Mexican music would play on it--mostly Mexican polkas. I thought it was the line, but I tested it by borrowing a friend's phone, and the line was completely clear. Then, every night at 10pm, it would ring once and then quit. But it wasn't a normal ring, but a weird muffled one. That went on for almost a year.

One day I was sitting near the phone, reading, with the house pretty silent, when the phone made a loud, strange series of electical beeps like a synthesizer. It was so bizarre and shocking that I was almost afraid to approach it. I didn't even know the phone could make sounds like that, because it has an ordinary bell-type ring. That's the first and only time it ever did that. The phone would also make a loud, screeching feedback sound when I would hang it up.

For a long time I didn't have an answering machine, and my friends kept asking me to get one. Finally a friend got one for me as a present. I hooked it up, and within a week all of the recorded messages were wiped out by the annoying buzz of static. I bought another machine and accidentally left it on top of my car when I was leaving the store. Never found it again. I bought another one, and it worked for a week before the messages were wiped out by static. When I hooked up a third answering machine, I woke up to the phone ringing at four in the morning, and I heard the answering machine pick up a strange voice saying something I couldn't understand. I replayed the message and--I know this sounds crazy--the voice had an almost demonic sound to it, and it was speaking in a language I couldn't recognize. It also sounded kind of mechanical, like the way a sci-fi robot would sound. It really freaked me out, but it never happened again. A week later, that answering machine was also broken.

You're probably wondering why I didn't just pick up a new phone when I bought the new answering machines, and I've been asking myself the same thing. Maybe the "ghost" is preventing me from doing it! The phone doesn't play Mexican music anymore, and it doesn't ring at 10pm. I also have another answering machine that's been working fine for a long time.

I developed a crippling fear of telecommunications!

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