=== "Classic Kids' Letters to God"=== wooden nickel

"Classic Kids' Letters to God"

Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma

Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now? Jane

Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan

Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil

Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. Joyce

Dear God, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Bruce

Dear God, If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her. Denise

Dear God, I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. Sam

Dear God, I think about you sometimes, even when I'm not praying. Elliott

Dear God, I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it. Nan

Dear God, Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best. Rob

Dear God, My brothers told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right. They are just kidding, aren't they? Marsha

Dear God, If you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes. Mickey

Dear God, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea. Sincerely, Donna

Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already. Charles

Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool! Eugene

Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. Larry

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A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving 'hearses' for the last 25 years!!!!

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. A man was going 5 miles an hour over the 45 speed limit when he notices a police car behind him. He speeds up to 60... The police car tails him and turns on the lights. The man speeds up to 70... Police car turns on the siren. The man speeds up to 80 and starts approaching 90.... The policeman in the police car says over his mike..."Buddy, pull over or I'll shoot your tires out". With that, the speeder slows down, pulls his car to the side of the road and turns his ignition off. The policeman turns off his siren, leaves the lights going and unsnaps the holster of his gun as he approaches the man's car. The policeman says to the speeder "OK, buddy, I've heard 'em all, but I want to hear YOURS" The man replies"Well, officer, my wife ran off with a policeman a month ago, and I thought you were him bringing her BACK!"

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. Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home. Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema. I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff." When the little devils get to heaven, they find the gates are locked [St. Peter is having lunch.] and they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage. As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than ten minutes, and we're already getting refugees."

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A Jewish grandmother giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell." "Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow"? "You're coming empty handed?"

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