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Notice: This Advice is free advice and only for (Fun). It is provided by person or persons not affiliated with the Unsolved Mysteries website and neither Unsolved Mysteries or the persons giving the advice will assume any responsibility for consequences for the actions you take as a result.
Date: 5/27/2003 10:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 11616
well first thing i must say kaja is you are very educated...the vocabulary and descriptions within this post are great. you really have a way with words. i think that you are the only one that can make this decision but i personally say stay at your grandmothers,there are alot of people that can be real friends there. you also can talk to the so called(less then g rated) friend and explain what she has done to you but i would just let her go but remember people like that are the ones that have the problem not you because you will go a long way. ::HUGS::  |
Date: 5/27/2003 11:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 57074
Ahhhhh i dont know, if i was you i would do choice 2, but think really long and hard before deciding anything  |
Date: 5/27/2003 11:38:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15675
thanks everyone. Maybe i wasn't clear on a few things mentioned lol: silverfire I actually do have the basement to myself (there is a room down there and though it was just a room its where i reside.) See my grandparents have an up upstairs too with 3 beds that aren't used, and another bed in the den not used, but i dont like these rooms or beds for some reason, so I sleep down there (and worry grandma to death over it lol!) In that room there's the good tv, treadmill, computer, my altar, 2 couches, and 2 chairs. But I mean its not like my room room ya know? Grandma offered to help me make it mine this summer, but I dunno obviously lol! Xrayer thanks. I think I may need to use a lil more detail about my 'friend' (and I use the term loosly.) Okay basically on this situation other then what I've already mentioned, is I mean she seems friendly on the outside. Shes like 5'9, 260 or so lbs, and very interested in stuff I never really fancied (bill cosby, a love of clarinet that dont seem healthy, and musicals too.) Now don't get me wrong I mean I don't care what people like, thats their thing (hey who am I to judge  i luv the spice girls lol!) But I mean Mandy tried to make me like her lil clone. I mean literally! She wanted me to dye my hair and even tried to use John as an excuse, she wanted me to join all the classes she's in and do the things she does (despite the fact she knew those things weren't my fancy), and she even pleaded with me to join speech and share her passion of miming! Now notin against mimes or speech, but again thats not my thing and she knew that. Its really hard to explain over on line I guess so maybe I looked a bit like a not so nice word myself... But okay here I'm just gonna fully give in detail what I can that I already haven't: The week before my bday Mandy and me got in a fight. Why you ask? Because we were chattin one night and I was again very depressed (I get this way) and I said something like "I wish I was normal..." so what's Mandy do instead of the usual reassurance any sane person would give? She starts naming off things about me to change because she can make me *normal.* Now these aren't things you sit and insult someone about! I mean she insulted my clothes, my conversation style and sense of humor (which is like any normal persons I thought...), and she just went on and on and on. I think she had 9 things in the end and one really upset me: she said I lie constantly! Now in the whole time I've known her I only lied trying to cover up my good of her knowing I liked John. I told her that and she said *come i know you do just try and cut back a lil and I will too!* I didn't realize HER lying was such a problem, but she had done it before to me (she lied about 2 or 3 things at that point just to manipulate me...) So I got mad at her obviously. On Monday she tried to make a truce with me (this happend on a Friday I believe) and well I'm not gonna be a not so nice word, so I said fine although I was very reluctant and she knew it! Well on Tuesday I didn't go to school because I was just VERY depressed about everything. Then on Wenesday was my bday and it seemed normal tell I got out of school, see Mandy and John have the same last class of the day. So she asked me out for him, and I said no he dont like me remember? She assured me he did and called ahead to him (he was a few feet in front of us) and he said yes he did (thus making me wonder why he didn't do it himself) and I said well okay then fine. Now something important to this story before I go on: on THE THURSDAY BEFORE MY BDAY (and before she wrote that terrible list to me) she had told me her and John were planning something but it would take two days and I'd have to be there on Tuesday and Wenesday. Now when she told me this she was all smiles and giggles like it was the greatest thing in the world. On that Friday she told me whatever it was, it wasn't happening. Anyways now back to that day: anyways she told me to go to his locker, on my way there I almost caught up with him but he turned back and told me just a sec and went to go find Mandy. Well I went to his locker and waited and she came round the corner first (which I thought was odd, I mean why was she there?) and she seemed to think whatever was going on was pretty darn great. Well he comes after what appeared to be Mandy's coaxing and whatever *part 2* was he didn't want to do it and Mandy's sittin there smiling and encouraging him to do it, whatever it was (rememeber I'm in the dark here.) Well he said something bout that it was quote *mean, and he didn't want me to slap him.* Now I'm wondering what in the world is going on. Some other kid they knew came by and disrupted all of this *part 2* and so me and Mandy left. As we left John and her were arguing playfully back and forth about whatever *part 2* was and the last thing I heard was *it was her (Mandy's) idea and her idea to ask me out* and she said sometin back like no it was his. So I asked her when we were almost outside *wait what just happend? Do I have a bf?* She said yeah and I asked what all that other stuff was about because I mean I wish I could show you guys but it looked highly just suspicious. Me and John got along fine before, then Mandy told him everything and the few times i seen him afterwards we got along. So that very day I see her sittin their smiling and in her usual cheery demanor egging him on about something, and the poor guy acting really like he was sorry bout sometin and fighting her on it. But remember I was in the dark and I just didn't have a good feeling about everything... So we left and Thursday came and no word from John (who I knew was honestly grounded from internet and phone so he wouldn't be callin me...but oddly enough I really didn't see him that day...oddly tell later I guess!) Mandy did the usual thing a supposed best friend would do: tease me bout it and such like ya know in a good way. Then Friday the last day of school came and she was still doin that, PLUS offering his phone # so I could call him and such. Well Friday ended and no word from him. Friday night came and my sister, her friend, and my friend from Royal, and my dad's cousin arrived for my bday party (we were goin shoppin in the biggest mall in Iowa (yeah I know lol) the next morning.) Well its bout 9pm when they got there and Katie M my friend wanted to meet Mandy. So I call Mandy up and we agree to meet by the video store and so me and my posse lol headed for there. We arrived and Mandy was there. Her and my sister Britty hit it off it seemed. Mandy was in her usual cheery smiling demeanor. We went in the video store and her and Britty were teasin me about John. Then Mandy whispered sometin to my sister (again, in her happy demeanor) but see I couldn't hear what was being whispered. I wish I woulda paid more attention... After that we walked down to Burger King and my sisters friend Danica got sick so we had to comfort her and we sat in the local park for awhile. MANDY WAS STILL OFFERING JOHNS #! You'll see why this is just unbelievable in a second. Well we were having such a great time (actaully my friends were just good at repressing the eerie feelings they were getting from her) so I invited Mandy to spend the night with all of us. So we get back to Grandma's and bond while painting our nails and watching SpiceWorld. Mandy was even still teasin me bout John! Well me and Katie M are psychic and we enjoy a good tarot readin session so we invite Mandy along and I break out the cards (as britty and danica (her friend) we're havin their own fun, and Amy (my dad's cuz) was busy.) We sat there and I read for her! I mean I read for her about her crush and oh it looked good and then I read for my friend Katie M and then I read for me about my new bf. The cards looked like sometin wasn't right about all this, but ya know I couldn't figure out what....Well then we decide to do our psychic candle thing and we invite Mandy in on that too. Well me and Katie M look for Mandy's future first, and then we did Katie's....then I said I wanted to see mine. Now we were all havin a good time and I mean Mandy's still in her giddy happy always smiling mood. Man this story is draining lol... Anyways Mandy gets this smug smile on her face and says after she said she thought it wouldnt last long was that she had some *hindsight* into this. She then breaks into a story about how JOHN had planned to go out with me originally on Tuesday and break up with me on MY 16TH BDAY (wenesday) so I could say I had a bf for one day!!!! Well here I am sitting in a magick circle having my fears that it wasn't all good confirmed. What do I do ya know? Its like 2AM at this point! I could see Katie M was a lil upset too! I mean as Mandy says this her demeanor never changed and then THEN she had the nerve to start talking bout her crush again. I made up some excuses to stop the foreseeing and then we went to bed. I'm sure you all knew what I was sittin there thinking. The next morning me and Katie M woke up before Mandy. We went up up stairs and I told her I wanted Mandy to go home and we discussed the situation. Amy got in on it and she agreed. So Mandy woke up and I had Katie M have her come up. I just said sometin to the effect of *Mandy look I want you to go home this morning because after what you told me last night I just can't believe a real friend would do something like that to me.* She said what and I gave her a lil more detail (but not much) into why even if he's an evil non g rated word, she obviously contributed to it. Grandma drove her home shortly after. The party went on as planned and the weekend its self did. We came back to Spencer on Monday morning. Last night me and my sister got to talking about it all (because I didn't know if I should be mad at both of them, or just mandy or what) and heres the SUPER UNBELIEVABLE PART! Now remember when we were at the video store then a lil walk? Well this was the first moment me and my sis had really gotten to talk and I asked my sister about what Mandy had told her and it gave me insight that Katie M's predictions on the subject were right. Britty apoligized because she didn't get a chance to say so earlier but here is what Mandy told my sister that night in the video store (remember in a perky demanor and all): that SHE (Mandy) had COME UP WITH THAT PLAN so I could say I had a bf for one day!!!! But SHE THOUGHT John actually liked me now because he hadn't broken up with me yet.... MY GOD ugh its 1:36am and this is the billionth time I've gone over that story but it still upsets me. So maybe you all (if you actually have the time to read all that) you now know why I'm super leery of staying there. Mandy had the nerve to msg me a few nights ago when I was offline on yahoo messenger and just simply give me Johns # and saying if I wanted to know the truth to call him. This was on Saturday night and I just flew off the handle and wrote her back about 6 long msgs just telling her how upset I was with her and yeah... No response yet and I don't expect one lol. I dont know what to do with John, if I ever hear from him again I doubt that'll even happen...and I dont wanna call him because after what I believe Mandy's done he must think I'm insane...alrighty guys keep the advice comin, thanks a lot it means a lot to me.  |
Date: 5/27/2003 11:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
I think for your own sake you should talk to John, you never know until you ask. If you really like your music teacher and are getting a good deal on the lessons why not stay at your grams? When you have your car you will be able to boot on home to see your family. Sounds as if the good out way the bad at grammas. Just lose the friend, she sounds like a vampire, living her life vicariously through you. You don't need that.  |
Date: 5/28/2003 3:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 1799
u need to do which home is best for u, Kaja. *hugs* think about it. where do u have more true friends, where do u have that feels right, that feels like the place u should be raised in? where do u feel u could succeed more? which house feels like home. only u can answer these questions. i hope things work out. i had to decide where to live once. if u want to talk about it, msg me. *hugs*  |
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Date: 5/28/2003 5:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 11616
to me it sounds like she has the problem, dont let her problems run you away. you sound very mature for your age, so be the big one and face it head on. she needs to be dumped and forgot about then i would go to john and let him know that you know the truth..i believe that will at least make a friend out of him. there are many people in the world that are good for friends and bfs. in the long run she is going to lose unfortuantly. good luck. ::HUGS:: |
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Date: 5/28/2003 8:11:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15675
thanks everyone. I did realize last night I lost his number (darn yahoo offline msgs...) But I think I remember it. I don't know what to do there, see theres a whole lot more to that john/mandy story thats just how it ended, it was as I mentioned a 3 month ordeal and i think this was the *3rd* time we were supposdly going to go out. I just think I tortured the poor guy enough! Also Emi lemme think on those questions: u need to do which home is best for u, Kaja. *hugs* think about it. where do u have more true friends: neither place, I have 1 in Spencer but shes borderline where do u have that feels right that feels like the place u should be raised in? hmmm I think it could be either where do u feel u could succeed more? musically that would be independence. which house feels like home: I guess I'd say Spencer. So there *technically* Spencer would win, but really its marginal lol. Thanks guys for reading all that and actually caring. |
Date: 5/28/2003 9:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 58611
Hmmmm thats a lot for you to chew on isnt it! It sounds to me like your grandparents are extremely good to you...and I think all you need to do is look at things from a different point of view...If you look at something and say, oh this sucks, then it will, but if you try taking a second look and say oh its not that bad, then it wont be. Life, no matter where on this planet you will ever be, is only going to be as good as you let it be or you tell yourself it will be...its all in your outlook man...is your glass half empty or half full? How you anwswer that will determine many many things for you. I know it may sound a little silly, but think positive!  |
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Date: 5/28/2003 10:40:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15675
lol u know I never fully can get that saying . My grandparents are very good to me, but I mean I need PEOPLE lol not material things. I got a load of good clothes and crap but it just seems wherever I go the wrong people are drawn to me. I mean I've moved a lot in my life and the earliest one I can think of was when I lived in Colorado when I was 8. A girl named Becky I think started trying to be my owner so to speak...she always insulted me but I didnt really fancy her and with my parents divorce it didnt matter, we moved not to long after. We moved to Royal and I met 2 people to this day who have treated me like crap, and 1 who does but I know shes actually a pretty decent friend. Then I moved to Missouri and just yeah...long story. Then we moved to Spencer and as I said the bad people came to me here too. In 7th and 8th grade I had a group of abused *lose if ya know what I mean (I would say premiscious but i dunno how to spell that lol!)* girls who again treated me like crap and talked behind my back. I also had 1 friend who wasn't that way, but she was like really just making fun of me all the time behind my back. In fact all 4 of those girls had 1 or 2 incidents where they tried to hook me up with a guy as a joke... 9th grade and early 10th grade I met no new people. Then I came here and met Mandy and well lol you all know all of that! Its not like I'm out to meet bad people, I dont think I dress or act like I deserve to be branded a *premiscious dork* and so forth. I just whenever I meet new people try to be myself and be nice to whoever will give me the time of day, and it seems no decent people want to! Ugh... I think I should just become a hermit lol! This last time I switched schools I guess I had a bit more success as in I did meet some good people. But then again I had the same amount of people who talk behind my back. In fact there was a lil group of them in particular who I didn't know but sat behind me in choir and liked to snoop and back talk about me, even though I was within ear shot! I mean one day I had a my books sitting there and I had my wicca book (I ain't gonna hide it but Im not gonna advertise it either lol) and inside was my note to John, in fact this was the Thursday Mandy came up with her *brillant* plan. As we were singing Danny Boy the girl behind me took my book, and I didnt notice until I looked over and she was sliding it back into place! They also had read my note to John and HAD THE NERVE TO ASK ME ABOUT IT! But then again this is the first school that had some decent expierences with the bad... See I'm on summer break, and as I said I'm at home home in Spencer so maybe my opinions are being influenced by that. I have to go back this weekend and finish my lessons for the summer and take drivers ed. In August I think I'll be coming back at least for a few weeks less I decide to come home for good. Honestly with all your guys help I still am way indecided! Hmm lemme try this: friends: Well...I have a chance in both towns really. I mean I'm gonna get a job so I *may* meet some people. In Independence I have 1 more chance basically, but if my luck keeps as it is I may well forget it! So I'll say Spencer. Music: hmmm... Spencer is full of mean cruel socilites. The Y here owes me $30 for the dance class that they never gave yet I paid for last winter. Diane the vocal teacher I just will not got back to, she did me little to no good. My guitar teacher was doing a lil good... And well I dont know what I'd do with piano, I'd probably have to drop it. If I stay in Independence I may be in concert choir (I have to re audition because my breathing wasn't well...at least I have another chance!) I also would get to be in the musical, whether thats good or bad I don't know. I'd also have my guitar/piano/vocal lessons with Mark who is talented and cheaper then Spencer lessons. So I guess Independence wins this one. bf: well good god if I don't die alone and lonely it will be a miracle no matter where I live! If I stay in Spencer I'm not quite sure my chances of anything. As I said the people here suck, and sure there are A FEW (I swear to god this town had a chemical accident or something to make them all ugly on the outside like they are in the inside) hot guys specially by the lakes, but they aren't good inside, and their sure as heck ain't no good guys, good looking or not. And if there are I may faint! This one kinda goes back to friends dont it? Well if I live in Spencer I'd have my one friend Katie M and my sister, but good god no guy will go for any of us (cept my sister...who is newly 14!) It *could* happen but the world *could* end right this moment so yeah could means nothing... If I stay in Independence I may have a better chance, but that really is a *MAY*. This also goes back to friends and my god sometin tells me I'm not gonna make to many of them. Nothing sadder then walking through a mall and seeing a fat chick shopping with her grandmother, every weekend! There are some good guys up here, but from the lil I've learned they don't want girls like me, and the fact that I would like them scares the crap out of them! So this one is a draw I guess, there is no lesser evil  ...So how do I win that lol? Technically the first one might as well have been a draw too. Thusly the only thing that is sure is that music offers are better there. I know I'm not the best singer in the world, and I sure as heck don't look like Britney Spears, but thats what I want to be and I try my hardest. But a girl can only work so hard with no life before she breaks down, this has been proven true before in my life! When I lived in Spencer before this all happend I had my vocal and guitar lessons, and they were my day, plus exercising. I dont know maybe this helps: I want to graduate only for the sake of being able to keep my liscense and a job, and then when I graduate what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna arrange an apartment, a job, and a place in a small arts college and go down to florida. I want to be a singer and thats just my goal in life. Iowa sucks and right now I got 2 more years tell I'm free. *smacks her head* I dont know. The only thing that I'm certain on in the situation is that people suck no matter where I go, and the bad ones always attach themselves to me but I never know it tell its to late. I also know that music can be done either place I live, but where am I gonna be able to keep sane? I dont know that one... life sucks when ur a fat teen and especially a chick ugh! |
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