All Change!!!!!!!!!!!!!........Zema

How many times have you promised yourself that you're going to make a change in your life but haven't been able to do it??

Perhaps you've wanted to give up something that's bad for you (coffee, smoking, a boyfriend), take up something that's good for you (exercise, anyone?), be more confident, speak up more or be a better friend. Then two weeks later, nothing has changed.....Why???

It all goes back to the "pain and pleasure" principle. If the enjoyment you get out of doing something outweighs the pain of involved, then your chances of giving it up are minimal. This explains why teenagers will do a whole range of things that adults see as risky and crazy - driving too fast, smoking cigarettes, drinking too much, engaging in unprotected sex.

Very often the painful consequences are thought to be too far off into the future to in any way counteract the here-and-now pleasure.

It's also the reason why some people wake up too late to the fact that their marriage is on the rocks. The warning signs were invariably there, sometimes to the point of having been told directly: 'If you don't change, I'm leaving!', but the "pleasure" of making money, watching TV and ignoring domestic duties (to name but a few) have outweighed the "pain" in the threat.

That is, of course, until the person's partner actually ups and leaves. Then the pain in its full intensity, and the person may genuinely be willing to do absolutely anything to turn the situation around.

But sadly, by then it may be too late.

So next time you want to change something, create a Pain and Pleasure Spreadsheet. But if your pain column doesnt outweight the gain column and you still want to make that change, consider the following way to tip the pain-gain balance scales:

1....Attack deniel by asking yourself: 'Are there fruther negatives that I'm ignoring?'

2....Consider the future: 'What will be the impact if I'm still doing this thing one, two or three years down the track?'

3....Ask: 'How can I reduce the pleasure that I get?'

4....Turn things around by increasing the pleasure gained from giving up. Reward yourself - have a juicy mango instead of that chockie bar; tune into how much better you feel when you exercise; notice the joy on your children's faces when you come home from work early...

FOOTNOTE:

I myself find this very interesting...I haven't been able to get motivated back into exercising again...and seem to find any excuse to get out of it!!! I hope this can help someone else besides me lol!!!

Luv and Peace...Zema

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