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A Tribute To The Most Helpful Guy I Know, Helpful Bill ¤Frankenstein¤

  Author:  47699  Category:(USM Events) Created:(5/22/2003 4:05:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1057 times)

I can still recall how Aunt Ida would perch on the fence and scratch her rash on warm summer nights. She would drone on endlessly about the virtues of subsisting on a diet of ragweed, elderberries and Hawaiian Punch. It always played out the same. After just a few minutes, Grandpa would pelt her with potatos and she would retort, "Stand down, heathen! For the Lord sayeth, refrain or I shalt smite thee with a rancid flounder." For some reason, Grandpa would stop cold every time upon hearing those words. The rest of us just laughed and shook our heads. I'm quite certain that I'll forever languish in the sweet memories of days past.

Helpful Bill, if I knew your phone number, I would call you collect right now and serenade you with a medley of Elvis songs accompanied by miscellaneous farm noises. It doesn't get any better than that. Now, please pardon me. I must powder my pet baboon's rear end. It seems to be chapped.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 5/22/2003 4:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    ??? Frank.. can i have som eof what you are on?  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:33:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    SK8R, I'm perfectly sober. If you believe otherwise, I'll be forced to tie you down, drench you with root beer and let fire ants devour your flesh.  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    i thought i had dreamed all that... so that wasnt a dream last night  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:38:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    Tell me, do you think the man of the hour will appreciate this? I think it's right down his alley.  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:40:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    you serenade?.. can you serenade me with a medley of Perry Como?
  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069      
Date: 5/22/2003 4:44:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    Sure, I could do that. Then again, perhaps you would prefer a selection of Don Ho songs. Tiny bubbles...in the wine.... LOL!  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:45:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    That was my 2nd choice.... makes me feel happy,, da da da da....  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    lmao.... why.. what on earth are you talking about Frank.... no where do I see anything about abandoning heehee  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:46:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    How about Tom Jones? "It's not unusual to be loved my anyone..."  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:47:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    I don't see anything like that either. What have you been smoking?  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:48:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    Anyway, Helpful Bill is cool. I think we should buy him a big cake and throw it at him. What do you think?  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    LMAO.. you weasel  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    LOL.. everytime i hear that song.. i think of Carlton from Fresh Prince... I got that dance down pact  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:49:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    as long as its double chocolate, and spring loaded...  
Date: 5/22/2003 4:52:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    All I know is that I want a scary clown head to pop out of it.  
Date: 5/22/2003 5:24:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    ummmmmm.. "go Helpful Bill?"  
Date: 5/22/2003 5:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 20956    Man, whatever it is that you are on Frank, send some over my way!! I could really use it to get through this LONG Friday at work!!   
Date: 5/22/2003 5:35:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    Uh, yeah. Something like that, SK8R. LOL @ Sunny!  
Date: 5/22/2003 5:45:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    is he gonna show up for his own party...? I'm here,,.. the party can start now!  
Date: 5/22/2003 5:47:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    Well, he's in England and it's now 2:45 a.m. there. I suspect that he'll be here tomorrow.  
Date: 5/22/2003 5:48:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    I meant 1:45. That's still late, though.  
Date: 5/22/2003 5:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 46069    uhhh ok.. so lets tribute him while he sleeps.. shhhhhh dont wake him up  
Date: 5/22/2003 6:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 18527    I think Bill is pretty cool!  
Date: 5/22/2003 6:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 56927    Well, I got here at least. I brought a pie, too.  
Date: 5/22/2003 6:31:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    Bill, I hope it's something good.  
Date: 5/22/2003 7:28:00 PM  From Authorid: 28946    LOL.  
Date: 5/22/2003 9:35:00 PM  From Authorid: 59418    can i have some pie..  
Date: 5/23/2003 6:28:00 AM  From Authorid: 54570    Hmmm I just had to see what was going on. And it figures you and SK8R were going at it as well in this post!  
Date: 5/23/2003 7:09:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    Well, Joe, you know us. LOL!  
Date: 5/24/2003 3:20:00 PM  From Authorid: 22721    LOL! Only you Frankie, Only you........  
Date: 5/24/2003 8:28:00 PM  From Authorid: 54444    And I thought the Mad hatter's tea party was weird. I need to talk to my psychiatrist about my selection of friends. Meanwhile hit me in the face with a hunk of that pie.  
Date: 5/25/2003 3:38:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 47699    LOL @ MOA!  
Date: 6/6/2003 1:10:00 AM  From Authorid: 56927    We all a great time at this party, didn't we chaps? I rememeber when you lot took your clothes off and it was the best cos it was brilliant and it was great. You were not even drunk, for goodness sake. We had to send Penny to fetch your t-shirts and it was incredible. The metal princess sand a version of Britneys, All along the watch tower, and that was anuvver highlight what I can remember. I was so gone from crack and skag, when I woke up there was a mouse on my face. I didn't bother removing it. Its a pity it had to end, ho ho!  

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