Money Trees Are Coming Soon!

This post was inspired by a recent post regarding growing meat on trees. I changed a few words. Enjoy and Happy money pickin to y'all!! :D

Tree That Give Money Instead Of Fruit! Friday May 16, 2003 By MICHAEL CHIRON MANCHESTER, England

Here's some good news that will give some hope to the poor and the wealthy. Researchers have developed genetically engineered fruit trees that bear real money!

Fruit from the new Money Trees, developed by British scientists using gene-splicing technology, closely resembles ordinary grapefruit. But when you peel the large fruit open, inside is ....You guessed it...MONEY!!

"Our trees may sound like something out of a science fiction movie, but it's really a simple, down-to-earth idea whose time has come," declares Dr. Vincent Tartley, director of agricultural bioengineering research for the UltraModAgri Group, which created the amazing trees.

"Thieves have been complaining for years that they must spend time behind bars for the lack of moral convictions regarding stealing what belongs to another, they can now work for a living and pick their own money once in a while. Now they can have their money and stay out of prison."

Although it's taken 12 years to develop the trees, the concept is simple. "We take the metals from a money mint that produces coins and splice them into the reproductive cells of grapefruit trees," he says. "When the seeds mature into trees, instead of producing ordinary citrus fruit, the pulp contains MONEY. You get the texture and even the smell."

Those who've examined the money agree it looks and feels like the real thing. "I was a bit skeptical at first when I peeled back the rind after they told me it grew on a tree," says Londoner Mark Basker, 41, who participates in consumer frauds . "But it looked and felt like the real thing -- nothing leafy about it at all."

Money grown on trees needs only sun, water and fertilizer and thus is more cost-effective than starting up the now old fashioned money mints, Dr. Tartley also points out. Money Tree products could be in the system in Great Britain by year's end and, pending USDA approval, in the system in the U.S. by 2005. Some fanatical government officials insist they could never allow such a thing -- even if it grew on a tree. But the majority loves the idea and the majority wins.

"My hands are itching already," says a committed prisoner of 20 years. But religious leaders are uneasy about "trans-species genetic engineering." "Mixing money and fruit DNA to create a new species of tree is playing God," argues Rev. Lawrence Bedlow, Britain's leading expert in medical ethics.

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