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Relationship Advice Needed

 Category:(Serious Advice) Created:(5/21/2003 10:21:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (3058 times)

This is quite adult-ish but there is no profaine language...

I'm now in a committed relationship with C and we are planning to get married next year (or sooner, depending on our whims). Cepha knows everything about me -- more than any of my closest friends even know. I told him whatever he wanted to know about my past because yes, I did them, and no I'm not ashamed nor do I think it's wrong.

But HE does. Yes, he did the same things before he met me -- I mean the EXACT same things I've done. But he thinks that, as a man, it's okay for him to do these things. I however, am a woman and should have never done them.

Why? I know it's society's way of thinking, but why should I think like society? Why should I commit my mind to being so Victorian, as if I shouldn't be privy to such lustful, wanton emotions? I'm a human being and humans know the flesh is weak. I am one who does not deny what I am, a sinner, and I know my weakness -- sex.

I sorta think I shouldn't have told him -- I mean, we wouldn't be arguing, if I hadn't. Anyway, when it comes to differences in women and men, we try to just stay away from the subject in general, because it always ends up reverting back to the fact that I've had alot of partners.

What should I do? What should I have done?

He says he loves me but I think to love is to accept what you don't like about a person -- not saying that you approve but that what you don't like doesn't affect you to the point where you look down on that person or whatever. (Did you get that?)

I don't seriously dislike any of his faults. Sure, he's got 3 ex girlfriends that are, to this day, still after him. In fact, for some odd reason, he keeps slipping and calling me Vanessa -- his ex girlfriend. But do I really get angry? No. Do I say "Tell those women to quit emailing you and text paging you all that manure"? No. Because I trust him. Because I love him. Because I'm not jealous. Because I don't care.

Help me, y'all. We are generally very happy with each other, but this is a thorn in our usually rosy relationship.

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Replies:      
Date: 5/21/2003 10:36:00 AM    I think you need to talk to him about this, it sounds to me like he's being a bit hypocritical, if he loves you he should accept everything about you.

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