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What do you think is the biggest reason people divorce?

  Author:  39887  Category:(Discussion) Created:(5/19/2003 2:58:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (4854 times)

I thought about this after replying to a post here. Why do people divorce.Whats the biggest issue you think? I have been divorced twice. The first time I married right out of high school, he got drafted, had to cut our honeymoon short. When he got out of service, we just couldn't do anything without our parents interfering. I begged him to move far away but he was a mama's boy and for that reason, I divorced him but we are friends after all the years. It was best, we both were too immature. I'm telling you that 18 is way too young to marry. I divorced my second husband because he had an alcohol problem. After four years of begging and pleading for a change, I just filed for divorce again. This time, I had a son. My husband was a policeman and his job stressful( he was a detective). I just knew that it wouldn't change and that my son was not going to live with an alcoholic dad. We sat down and agreed that everything we did from that day forward would be in the best interest of our son. That remained that way and we are best friends today. My husband likes him very much. When we moved away and would go back to visit my mom would invite him over for meals for our sons sake. It has been a perfect divorce. He is married again but if I have a problem of any kind, I can call him and get help. My son thinks we are the only two civilized divorced parents he knows and I feel lucky that life has been good to us all.

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Replies:      
Date: 5/19/2003 3:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 19772    hmm the two biggest reasons I can think of are cheating and abuse.
  
Date: 5/19/2003 3:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 24924    NOT paying attention to what IS, as opposed to what one WANTS or wishes their loved one to be, BEFORE taking the leap. Many THINK (or WANT) they are marrying for love; they look at marriage in an idealistic sense, or think they can change a person after marriage.  
Date: 5/19/2003 3:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 53284    The single biggest reason that I can think of is not getting to know your partner before you tie the knot. The other thing that goes hand in hand with knowing someone is realizing that you're not going to get them to change. So you not only have to love the person that you're going to marry but you really really need to like them.  
Date: 5/19/2003 5:11:00 PM  From Authorid: 28848    My husband and I had many lengthy talks before we were married about what we wanted in life, how we wanted to live, and what we expected from a spouse. I was LIED to!!! I think that he just agreed with me on everything I said. And of course, that made a disasterous marriage. Now six long years have gone by and here we are getting ready to get a divorce. If you were to follow my husband around for a day, you would never know that he even had a family, muchless a wife. He is a very very self-envolved and self-centered person.  
Date: 5/19/2003 5:20:00 PM  From Authorid: 42792    money and lack of communication  
Date: 5/19/2003 7:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 53013    Finances, when money runs out so does the love..more often than not. For me it was being to young, and foolish.  
Date: 5/19/2003 9:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 53900    Lots of reasons I guess...you grow apart, violence, infedelity, health problems, money problems  
Date: 5/19/2003 10:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 11616    i think alot of it is boredom, after years of marriage we sometimes take our spouses for granted and think that we will be married for life without thinking about keeping communication and the spice in a relationship so we get bored..well just a thought. ::HUGS::  
Date: 5/19/2003 11:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 12341    Sometimes people are just not right for each other, simple as that. We just don't always know it, we change as we grow older. Feelings change with life changes, and people do not always stay the same.  
Date: 5/20/2003 6:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 53052    too many people look at divorce as an easy out of thier problems... not dealing with the issues head on.... lack of communication. lack of knowing the person you are marrying...expecting your partner to change.... expecting everything to stay the same as it was when dating.... those seem to be some of the most common(other the finacial)  
Date: 5/20/2003 6:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 48250    I agree with Midnightly, I also believe that incompatibility has a lot to do with divorces today , lack of total commitment, A lot of people get scared when there is sickness or the money runs out. Fidelity is another major marriage breaker as well as alcoholism & abuse.. T/C *Kentucky Bluebird*  

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