Suicidal thoughts

Why everytime I am down I think of suicide
Is it just the brain express ride

That's where my thoughts go into once something makes me mad
That's where my thoughts go into once something makes me sad
The suicidal thoughts make me go bad
But it all comes to an end once I get glad
To go back to what I had

But sometimes I'm really serious about takin' myself off of the face of the world
Just b/c there is this one girl

And I always promised myself that I would never go far enough to kill myself over a girl
But my mind is starting to feel like a tilt-a-whirl

She's all I think about, but she doesn't return the love that I have for her
And that I know for sure

(chorus)

Suicidal thoughts spinnin' through my mind
Deep in my head, you never know what you might find

But I know that you'll find love for a girl, hate for that girl, a disfigured soul
You'll also find deep within' me, my heart has a big hole

Help me, for these suicidal thoughts are becoming more and more common
My mind ain't nothing but a series of bombins

BOOM, the gun went off, but it was only a thought
A suicidal thought that could've been a reality that could've been caught

Ugh, the knife went through the heart
But again it was only a thought

Suicidal thoughts, more and more
There even becoming more hardcore

That my insides are torn
That makes me wish that I wasn't born

(end chorus)

I go to bed, wake up the next morning refreshed as could be
But then, someone says something to me

That puts me down or makes me mad
That I can not resist that makes me go bad

Again and again and again
Can't anyone just be my friend

I think that no one cares for me of they would tell me they do
The only time they say they care is when I'm talkin' the way I am to you

Right now, they don't want me to commit suicide for something they have said
But I feel that they wouldn't care as long as it wasn't them that caused me to sleep in the eternal bed

I am in the sense of denial
That a little phrase would send me into a flashback of a past trial

That something that was just as bad or worse
That I could just stand up and curse and curse...

(chorus)

Suicidal thoughts spinnin' through my mind
Deep in my head, you never know what you might find

But I know that you'll find love for a girl, hate for that girl, a disfigured soul
You'll also find deep within' me, my heart has a big hole

Help me, for these suicidal thoughts are becoming more and more common
My mind ain't nothing but a series of bombins

BOOM, the gun went off, but it was only a thought
A suicidal thought that could've been a reality that could've been caught

Ugh, the knife went through the heart
But again it was only a thought

Suicidal thoughts, more and more
There even becoming more hardcore

That my insides are torn
That makes me wish that I wasn't born

(end chorus)

This is just a poem, I am not in this state of mind, I do not wish to kill myself, it's just a poem that demonstrates what people might go through. Thanks!