Ode to My Cousin "Eddie"..................... writtenby: tomevans

Thursday, April 24th, 2003:

I come in from work tonight, and as a end-of-the day ritual- was heading to the local convenient store for pop in styrofoam cups & re-load on cigarettes. Tonight my wife yells at me to buy a copy of the local newspaper, I asked why and she said "your cousin Eddie died, and it's in the paper". "How'd he die?" I asked her inquizitively, the fact that he had passed away did take me a bit by surprise. "He bought some bad drugs on the street and died in the emergency room", she informed me...................

Neither my wife, nor I, knew eddie evans very well. He was 28-years-old, but looked 45. He did always smile and was nice, but seemed so tired and worn-out. I had once chased the same euphoria in which eddie strived. I fell into the very same addictions & afflictions. The same evil empire of characters. We seemed to know where each other was coming from, even more importantly- where we had both been coming from. His life was very sad and gray, despite his attempt to smile & make conversation. He had no companionship, no best friends. He followed the wrong people and was an errand boy for the devil..............

He didn't have any real cause or purpose. Didn't seem to believe in any certain theories or persuasion, no politics or religion for sure. He was just lanky, drab "eddie" and he didn't give noone any grief. But to die, because of a drug that was manufactured somewhere in this city. A drug that several other people probably purchased as well. It stopped eddie in his tracks at a tender age, when he should've been finding a happy medium. He was malcontent and his descent into drug addiction was taking a heavy toll, but it still came as a shock to me............................

That horrible, dark culture- the world of drugs, drug dealers, & other associates willing to help in the elusive search of the ultimate alteration of the mind- according to my count= has now claimed the lives of at least a dozen people that I had some kind of connection or conversation with over the past decade. People that, under the influence of drugs & or alchohol, have committed suicide, crashed vehichles, or died from the abuse itself. I feel so fortunate to have escaped the darkness with some sembelence of "meaning" and "happiness". I suffer from depression and I've got alot of demons left to tackle, but I no longer roam the streets of this dirty town, in search of all the wrong things. I've found out that if you just stay home and have little contact with the outer world- the better off & the safer we are. If "Eddie" would have just went to his little pad, that he had going on for himself. If he would have just went home after work & watched some television. It was that 5-minute pitstop on the poor side of town- that ended with a ambulance ride to the hospital & the final beats of his heart. I will think of eddie, mostly because I'm not sure that he ever hurt anyone during his brief life, because he always smiled- no matter what mood surrounded him, and because maybe now he'll find what it was, he was so desperately searching for....................

I love you eddie evans: tomevans-

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