...All These Thoughts...

dreams of crimson fill my mind
everything seems so much clearer
the rush of energy that flows through my veins
tension just moments before
the sweet splitting of flesh
a deep scarlet draining out
the steel of the blade feels so good
ice cold on my quivering skin
relief brought forth by the pain
happy that i can feel
the pure bliss of cutting
then come the scars
battle scars as i like to call them
for they show of a great fight
a battle with ones own soul
still being alive at the end shows your victory
but the tears still run down my cheeks
i don't think they'll ever go away
even if i achieved what i wanted
they would still rush in every night
so i place the razor away
i didn't cut tonight
it will only hurt everyone i love
and in the end it will not make me sane
instead i light up a cigarette
if i must hurt myself then smoking's a good enough way
you never have to explain smoking
but everyone asks and wonders about cuts
no use trying to explain when they do
they'll never understand
no one ever does
only another cutter can understand your pain
and they can't even help themselves let alone you or i
so i bid thee adu for the night
and lest i leave you with one more fact
writing and poetry is a wonderful healer
but it never lasts quite long enough
i shall resist the blade for tonight
but tomorrow is yet another war

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