" 14-LETTER WORD " wooden nickel

14-LETTER WORD

Scott and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company, and had to take an intelligence test. They each found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14-letter word for someone in charge of a plant."

"How did you answer that last one?" asked Scott. "I was a bit puzzled at first, but then I thought of 'Superintendent'."

"I think I got it right, too," said Pete, "but I wrote down 'Horticulturist'."

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A time of the day when all is still, I turned my thoughts and heart to God. I asked Him for whom I should pray, He spoke not a single word to me...



Then my heart opened up for you and this little prayer was on my lips:

I know not what the need might be, please Lord be with a friend today. Help them as they go their way to seek your will for what to do, and trust you Lord for what is good, according to your plan for them.

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Saddam Hussein and his chauffeur were rolling down the highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road. They killed it instantly. Saddam tells his driver: "Go to the farm over there and explain to the owner of the pig what happened." One hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other. "What happened to you?" He asks. "Well, the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me a bottle of wine, and their daughter tossed wild passionate kisses to me." "My God! What did you tell them?" asked President Hussein. The driver answered: "Good evening. I am Saddam Hussein's chauffeur and I have just killed the pig."

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Today is a gift Given to you and to me, And the only one like it That there ever will be.

So please use it wisely, Spread love and some cheer, Because the days will quickly Turn into a year.

Roses can mean most anything A symbol of love or friendship true But today this little rose I'm sending just to you.

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Dear God,

I'm writing to say I'm sorry For being angry yesterday When you seemed to ignore my prayer And things didn't go my way

First, my car broke down I was very late for work But I missed that awful accident Was that your handiwork?

I found a house I loved But others got there first I was angry, then relieved When I heard the pipes had burst!

Yesterday, I found the perfect dress But the color was too pale Today, I found the dress in red Would you believe, it was on sale!

I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blest For no matter what I pray for You always know what's best!

I have this circle of E-mail friends, Who mean the world to me; Some days I "send" and "send", At other times, I let them be.

When I see each name download, And view the message they've sent; I know they've thought of me that day, And "well wishes" were their intent.

I am so blessed to have these friends, With whom I've grown so close; So this little poem I dedicate to them, Because to me they are the "Most"!

So to you, my friends, I would like to say, Thank you for being a part; Of all my daily contacts, This comes right from my heart.

God bless you all is my prayer today, I'm honored to call you "friend"; I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until we write again.

God Bless You

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Clean Glass?

Waiter: Tea or coffee, gentlemen?

1st customer: I'll have tea.

2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the glass is clean!

(Waiter exits, returns)

Waiter: Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

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. Big Move ----------------------------------- We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day.

He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally." ( chess game )

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Don't Worry

I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent. On the windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver. "I feel terrible," the woman apologized when I called. "I hit your car as I was pulling into the next parking spot."

"Please don't worry," I said to her. "I'm sure our insurance companies will take care of everything."

"Thank you for your understanding," she said. "You're so much nicer than the man I hit on my way out."

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. Trouble

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him,

"Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you."

"I know" said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."

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"The King's Highway"

Once a king had a great highway built for the members of his kingdom. After it was completed, but before it was opened to the public, the king decided to have a contest. He invited as many as desired to participate. Their challenge was to see who could travel the highway the best.

On the day of the contest the people came. Some of them had fine chariots, some had fine clothing, fine hairdos, or great food. Some young men came in their track clothes and ran along the highway. People traveled the highway all day, but each one, when he arrived at the end, complained to the king that there was a large pile of rocks and debris left on the road at one spot and this got in their way and hindered their travel.

At the end of the day, a lone traveler crossed the finish line warily and walked over to the king. He was tired and dirty, but he addressed the king with great respect and handed him a bag of gold. he explained, "I stopped along the way to clear a pile of rocks and debris that was blocking the road. This bag of gold was under it all. I want you to return it to its rightful owner."

The king replied, "You are the rightful owner."

The traveler replied, "Oh no, this is not mine. I've never known such money."

"Oh yes," said the king, "you've earned this gold, for you won my contest. He who travels the road best is he who makes the road smoother for those who will follow."

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Because I took a moment to speak And you took a second to smile A tiny part of me will leave with you And a little bit of you will stay

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