The REAL scoop on Chocolate ,, WOODEN NICKEL

The REAL scoop on Chocolate

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So, eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.

and

THE MOST important point to remember... chocolate ALWAYS taste better when shared with a friend.

Have a SWEET day!

=====================

====================

Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen. Love your life.

Believe in your own power, and in your own potential, and your own innate goodness. Wake every morning with the awe of just being alive.

Discover each day the magnificent, awesome beauty in the world. Explore and embrace life in yourself and in everyone you see each day.

Reach within to find your own specialness. Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to the potential of each new day.

Don't be afraid to admit your less than perfect; this is the essence of our humanity.

Let those who love you help you.

Trust enough to be able to take. Look with hope to the horizon of today for today is all we truly have.

Live this day well. Let a little sun out as well as in. Create your own rainbows.

Be open to all your possibilities, all possibilities and miracles.

Always believe in miracles.

========================

I have a special place

deep within my heart

its not very big

but its the most important part...

Its bright and cozy,

quite warm indeed;

colored with charm

yet never greed

There is no anger,

nor regret, nor sorrow,

its full of joy

and thoughts of tomorrow

This spot I've saved so carefully

to share with but a few.

It's full of happy memories...

the ones I keep of you.

This precious place within my heart

I've set aside with care

to hold on to every special moment

of the friendship that we share.

You are a priceless treasure

just in case you didn't know...

you mean so very much to me

And I just had to tell you so.

=======================

. My wife had caught mononucleosis at work, and for weeks we had played cards at night, instead of doing something more intimate. After about the sixth week of this, I asked her one night, "Wanna play cards again?"

She said, "Yes, of course. I'll get the deck of cards." She disappeared from the room.

After only a few minutes, she came back wearing a bikini she'd made from the playing cards. Unbeknownst to me, she'd been released from the doctor's care that same afternoon. She just looked at me and asked,

"Wanna shuffle?"

=====================

. Two guys were out walking their dogs, when one dog wanders off to pee against the wall. Like dogs do, it raised it's leg and started to do his thing.

The second dog then goes up and starts to go exactly where the other dog did. But instead of raising his leg, he stood up on his hind legs, put both paws on the wall and relieved himself.

One guy says to the other, "Wow, how did you teach him to pee like that?"

The second man replies, "I didn't teach him. He's done it ever since the wall fell on him..."

===================

. A boy had reached the age of four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.

Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."

Later that day, walking in the park, the mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old looked at her for a minute, then said, "Uh-oh . . I know what YOU have been doing."

=====================

If you asked me why I married a sadist, I'd say, "Beats me."

====================

If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does waiting in one take so long?

==================

"Divorce?"

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While they are waiting, they begin to wonder, "Could they possibly get married in Heaven?"

When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

The couple sits and waits for an answer. It takes a couple of months.

While they are waiting, they discuss whether or not they should get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven."

Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asks the frightened couple.

"OH, C'MON!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a preacher up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

Show all stories by   Author:  27583 ( Click here )