I just finished a pint

So my boss, He’s a decent chap, But my ball skills, they cost him cash.

“Don’t keep skirting around the edges, friend. It’s costly. It’s this its that… it’s blah blah blah! Just avoid the edges!”

So the next game, that was it, I just decided to change my tactics and head directly for the player I faced. Cripes! What a choice… you should have seen the look, oh, the look!

Shouting, he was, from the sidelines… “Oy, you, stop doing what you’re doing, and get back to what it was before you were doing the thing you were doing before you started!”

So there was me, only got the ball on me foot, yelling, “What on earth?!” ‘Cos I was really giving it some, you understand. Nicking possession and all that. Running circles I was.

I didn’t realise it was such a bad thing at the time but the geezer, the manager, he must have something going on with the other team, to do with fixing games and stuff. But no, I pulled back into me olden days position then guess what?

We started to lose the game. It was a nightmare.

After the match the guy goes, “You really did the whole match, sonny.. you ruined it for all of us.” and then he says to me, he says, “Go on, get out of it!”

Then he ordered a couple of body guards to drag me through a fence, then throw me into the road…..

Well, I had to go to the pub after that.

I had a nice beer too, it was nice. And the rest of the night I spent next to a machine playing teardrops on my pillow, by Billy Ray Cyrus! He’s the man! I swear.

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