New Elements in Periodic Chart.......SmoknJokes

Element Name: WOMANIUM

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)



Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Turns bright pink when found in its natural state.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!

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Element Name: MANIUM

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180 +/ - 50)



Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged period of time. Neuralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell

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Element Name:CHILDIUM

Symbol: KD

Atomic Weight: 9 to 140 lbs



Physical properties: Unlimited energy source, high voice volume, consumes vast amounts of foods and gains little wieght. Takes 18 years to mature to become either WO or XY.

Usage: Yard mowers, debris movers, slave labor.

Caution: When mixed with other varietie's of KD this can lead to destructive and irksome behavior. DO NOT MIX WITH XY FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME. Very hard to control, very messy/wont clean up, has ability to memorize things better forgotten, ability to repeat what was said or heard to wrong WO or XY. Hard to train as to what is important. Will learn unimportant things very rapidly.

Cannot keep in clothes due to fact this chemical grows rapidly. This will also help you make decisions in the future as to do you want more than one chemical compound of KD. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the next most powerful income reducing agent known besides WO.

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I added KD. Trying to think of more and better stuff to add. Let me know what you think. Just trying to breathe new life into an old joke!! Thanks for reading and replying.

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