preacher grabbed Fred by the hand, wooden nickel

Fred was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always used to greet people. The preacher grabbed Fred by the hand, pulled him aside, and said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" Fred replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, sir." The preacher questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" Fred whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

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I am your Flag I was born on June 14th, 1777. I am more than just cloth shaped into design. I am the refuge of the World's oppressed people. I am the silent sentinel of Freedom. I am the emblem of the greatest sovereign nation on earth.

I am the inspiration for which American Patriots gave their lives and fortunes. I have led your sons into battle from Valley Forge to the bloody swamps of Vietnam. I walk in silence with each of your Honored Dead, to their final resting place beneath the silent White Crosses, row upon row. I have flown through Peace and War, Strife and Prosperity, and amidst it all I have been respected.

My Red Stripes....symbolize the blood spilled in defense of this glorious nation. My White Stripes....signify the burning tears shed by Americans who lost their sons. My Blue Field....is indicative of God's heaven under which I fly. My Stars....clustered together, unify 50 states as one, for God and Country. "Old Glory" is my nickname, and proudly I wave on high.

Honor me, respect me, defend me with your lives and fortunes. Never let my enemies tear down from my lofty position, lest I never return. Keep alight the fires of patriotism, strive earnestly for the spirit of democracy. Worship Eternal God and keep His Commandments, and I shall remain the bulwark of peace and freedom for all mankind. I am your Flag.

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Summer Reading

Strategic Defense in the Space Age by Ray Gunn

Manned Planetary Expeditions Vol. 1: Mercury by Hugo Furst

Projectile Motion by Fah Ling

The Complete Do-It-Yourself Guide to Amateur Astronomy by I.C. Stars

The Physics of Rotation by S. Pining

Science Education Today by I. Noah Little

The Statistical Variations of Scantron Test Keys by Noah Lot

Computers by Kent Standm

The Past, Present and Future of the Stars in the Milky Way by Horace Cope

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A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

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Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "Called in Sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"

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Peace Activist Etiquette

With all of this talk of impending war, many of us will encounter "Peace Activists" who will try and convince us that we must refrain from retaliating against the ones who terrorized us all on September 11, 2001, and those who support terror.

These activists may be alone or in a gathering.....most of us don't know how to react to them. When you come upon one of these people, or one of their rallies, here are the proper rules of etiquette:

1. Listen politely while this person explains their views. Strike up a conversation if necessary and look very interested in their ideas. They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by attacking the people who did this to us, we will only bring on more violence. They will probably use many arguments, ranging from political to religious to humanitarian.

2. In the middle of their remarks, without any warning, punch them in the nose.

3. When the person gets up off of the ground, they will be very angry and they may try to hit you, so be careful.

4. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that violence only brings about more violence and remind them of their stand on this matter. Tell them if they are really committed to a nonviolent approach to undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and negotiate a solution. Tell them they must lead by example if they really believe what they are saying.

5. Most of them will think for a moment and then agree that you are correct.

6. As soon as they do that, hit them again. Only this time hit them much harder. Square in the nose.

7. Repeat steps 2-5 until the desired results are obtained and the idiot realizes how stupid of an argument he/she is making.

8. There is no difference in an individual attacking an unsuspecting victim or a group of terrorists attacking a nation of people. It is unacceptable and must be dealt with. Perhaps at a high cost.

We owe our military a huge debt for what they are about to do for us and our children. We must support them and our leaders at times like these. We have no choice. We either strike back, VERY HARD, or we will keep getting hit in the nose.

Lesson over, class dismissed

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