Date: 4/3/2003 7:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 53427
Hmm this is hard you can't force somebody to change their lifestyle. But you can let him know how much you care about him and worry about his health. Let him know how this makes you feel and talk to him about it.  |
Date: 4/3/2003 7:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 7952
Hey Dani! How are you?? First let me tell you, that i think it is wonderful that you are worrying about your Dad and his state of Health. It is a little worrying to find someone at the age that your Father is, to be eating that much and be smoking that much. I dont know what the relationship between you and your Dad is like.. but if you have alot of communication between eachother, and are both very open with eachother, then i would suggest simply telling him that you are worried about him or something along similar lines. If not, then i would suggest talking to your mother about it. Does your Mum prepare the foods your family eats? Maybe she could buy foods that are higher in energy, but less in Salts and Fats. Sometimes guys just eat whatever is put in front of them! He may not even notice. Smoking is much more of a hard habit to kick, but maybe you could tell him that his teeth and fingernails are starting to look really yellow and his breath stinks, LOL, maybe that will give him a little initiative to cut back a little. I hope it all works out..   |
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Date: 4/3/2003 7:14:00 PM ( Admin-DNL )
I have tried talking to him about it too. I know I can't force him to change anything but I think he should atleast try. I am running out of things to do, I don't want to give up on him but there is only so much you can do. |
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Date: 4/3/2003 7:16:00 PM ( Admin-DNL )
Hey DW! I am doing ok, how are you? My mom prepares some of his meals, he usually eats lunch at work so I don't know about that. My mom usually prepares things like chicken and stuff like that. My mom is a pretty busy person so she usually whips up whatever she can, maybe I should talk to her about this. thanks for the replies so far! |
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Date: 4/3/2003 7:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 7952
Thats a good idea! Its getting warmer over there, so many you could suggest evening walks or something. It would also be a good bonding session I really hope it works out, i think its very nice of you to be worrying about him like that. |
Date: 4/3/2003 7:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 36994
I ask the same thing, both my dad and mom used to smoke, but my dad with diagnosed with high blood pressure so he thankfully cut off the smoking, but mom my is still at the habit. I've told her before but she doesn't listen. I'm afraid for her later on when it can start to affect her. She's been smoking about 3 or more per day, not much but right now it may seem like nothing. Really good post! I hope things work out for your dad, do your best!  |
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Date: 4/3/2003 7:26:00 PM ( Admin-DNL )
walks sound like a good idea DW, I will suggest that to him. |
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Date: 4/3/2003 7:26:00 PM ( Admin-DNL )
thank you Carina. I can't imagine how hard it is to quit smoking, I realize it isn't easy but I wish he could just try. I think he should try not just for us but for himself. I hope your mom can quit! *hugs* |
Date: 4/3/2003 7:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 50758
I dont know, maybe you really cant control other people like you'd wish to.  |
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Date: 4/3/2003 7:34:00 PM ( Admin-DNL )
I realize I can't control him, I don't even want to control him. I just want to help him. I know I can't force him to do anything, I just want to convince him to try. |
Date: 4/3/2003 7:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 30051
He has to want to change. There is nothing you can say or do. I know this because I have been around people in 12 step programs over half of my life. And smoking and over-eating are addictions. My suggestion to you would be try al-anon. I know that may sound corny. It can help you learn how to deal with your Dad and how to live your life without feeling so powerless. Just my 2 cents  |
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Date: 4/3/2003 7:48:00 PM ( Admin-DNL )
thanks for the tip Coryann. He has said before he wants to change but I don't think he is serious about it otherwise he would be making more of an effort to change. thanks everyone. |
Date: 4/3/2003 8:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
as they say-- you can lead a horse to water, but you can't shove its head into the water, force the water into its mouth, down it's esophagus and its stomach. If your father doesn't want to change his ways, there is nothing you can do to force him. He needs a revelation. Perhaps you and the rest and your family can have an intervention (I'm serious). Confront him all at once and try to make him understand how dire his situation is and how concerned you are.  |
Date: 4/3/2003 9:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Tell him that you love him and that if he loved you and your family, he'd want to be around for them. Tell him that you want him to be the example that you know he can be, respectful and healthy. Just say it lovingly, good luck.  |
Date: 4/4/2003 12:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 18516
Well Dani..I'm going through the same thing with my parents..my dad smokes and I am begging him to quit..he says he's trying so we'll see. I'm really worried about my mother's health..she is overweight and her health is poor..I believe if she lost most of the weight she'd be much healthier...I've begged her to lose weight & I've offered to exercise and diet with her but she won't do it. She'll say she's to sick to exercise or she'll tell me to leave her alone and get off her case. It's so frustrating but I've learned that I can't make her do anything. She has to want to change herself. So the same applies with your dad. First I'd sit him down and tell him your worried about his health and ask him if he'd be willing to lose weight and stop smoking. If he doesn't listen then there really is nothing you can do. He has to want to do it himself.  |
Date: 4/4/2003 7:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 61847
Tell him that you love him and can't bare to think what could happen if he keeps up this behavior. He needs to know that you are worried about him and when he says, "Don't be. I'm fine" say "No, look at you. You need help but are too stuborn to ask for it." Tell him how much you care and that you are trying to let your children see their grandfather in the future. Tell him how unhealthy it is an then, print pictures off the internet of how is lungs are and print reports and stuff like that to show him how bad he's got it. Show him what he is doing to himself. He can't see it. It's like being mean. You don't know how bad the things you say are until to record them and listen to them. He needs to know that you care. Tell him that he is important and that you need him around. And if he is going ot be around, he needs to stop. Message me as soon as you can. Hugs  |
Date: 4/4/2003 9:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 6558
I think you should talk to your family about it and then everyone should talk to him together. Let him know howw concerned EVERYONE is.  |
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Date: 4/4/2003 9:57:00 AM ( Admin-DNL )
My family has actually had an intervention...unfortunently it has not seemed to work yet. thanks everyone for the replies, I will try some of your suggestions. I know i can't force him to do anything...I just wish he would be able to realize how unhealthy he is. |
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Date: 4/4/2003 9:58:00 AM ( Admin-DNL )
and thank you very much for the replies... |
Date: 4/6/2003 9:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 28363
Hi Danielle, this is a very complex situation. I am sure many children would wish there parents not do harmful things to their body, like over eating and smoking. Maybe you could write your dad a poem, and tell him how much you are going to miss him when he is gone. Be sure to tell him if he really loves your family he should cut back. Maybe that will get to him ;p Good luck and best wishes  |
Date: 4/7/2003 8:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
theres nothing you can do really hun!!! its up to him...I gather that you have all spoken to him about this!!!...the rest is up to him...I know how anxious you must feel about it, watching your dad eat himself and smoking himself into an early grave is no fun....sometimes though,a scare in their health can wake them up to themselves, but other than that he is 55yrs old and he is the only one that can do it in the long run...hugs  |
Date: 4/22/2003 12:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 62065
everybody here has good suggestions, and in a way i agree with them all. However a person can only take so much, in yours and your dad's situation...one of two things will prolly happen he'll have a heartattack and live and have a major lifestyle change, or you'll blow up in his face and it'll make him think more(won't necessaraly change, but atleast think)...i know how you feel....both my grandfathers have diabeties, and don't eat right and one of them drinks alot! wich is obviously very bad for the diabeties, because of the sugar. But there is no easy way to say to them "hey your killing yourself, and id like you to stick around awhile" ya know? Hope it works out in the end either way........Darkangel-1  |
Date: 8/3/2003 1:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 62095
Yeah my mom is really bad, she smokes 3 packs a day and drinks doesnt exercise or move her body at all, she never leaves the house. So until your dad wants to do this himself then it wont get better. After a while he will know it is time to make a change.  |
Date: 12/31/2005 3:33:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 16376
I randomed another one of my posts, lol. My dad is doing better now.  |
Date: 12/31/2005 3:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 23101
Ohh. Im glad your dad is doing better Danielle. =] <333  |
