If you lick your envelopes...You won't anymore!!!!
A woman was working in a post office in California. One day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady cut her tongue on the envelope.A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out!!!! There were roach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist...
This is a true story reported on CNN.
2) Andy Hume wrote: "Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked an envelope for years!"
3) To All: I used to work for a print shop (32 years ago) and we were told NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood why until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500 envelops that were already printed for a customer who was doing a mailing and saw several squads of roaches roaming around inside a couple of boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue on the envelopes. I think print shops have a harder time controlling roaches than a restaurant. I always buy the self sealing type. Or if need be I use a glue stick to seal one that has the type of glue that needs to be wet to stick.
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In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her new dog. The clerk suggested that she bring the pup in for a proper fit.
"I can't do that!" the lady said. "The sweater is a surprise!"
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On down the road we are traveling, The sun is shining even though we can’t see.
On down the road we’ll still be friends, We will be this way until the very end.
On down the road of life and love, We will see the sunshine and will never be apart.
On down the road, now or then, We will be together once again.
On down the road I’ll see you standing, Waiting with open arms for me.
On down the road it does get better, No matter what we go through we will be together.
On down the road our love will live, And no matter how hard it gets, I’ll be waiting... ON DOWN THE ROAD.
====================== SIGNING OUT BOOKS
The new librarian decided that, instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.
Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk, and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The librarian pushed the books back, and told him to sign them out.
The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card, and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.
Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other librarian we had could write."
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Road signs are a real indication of what an area is like. In Virginia you have signs saying DEER CROSSING. At Yellowstone you have signs saying BEAR CROSSING. In Africa you have signs saying ELEPHANT CROSSING. And on Madison Avenue you have signs saying DOUBLE CROSSING.
======================== Cat-English Dictionary
Phrase Meaning miaow Feed me. meeow Pet me. mrooww I love you. miioo-oo-oo I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up. mrow I feel like making noise. rrrow-mawww Please, the time has come to tidy the cat box. rrrow-miawww I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical. miaowmiaow Play with me. miaowmioaw Have you noticed the shortage of available cat toys in this room? mioawmioaw Since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture. raowwwww I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy. mrowwwww I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet. roww-maww-roww I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen. mmeww I believe I have heard a burglar. If you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm. gakk-ak-ak My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting. mow Snuggling is a good idea. moww Shedding is pretty good, too. mowww! I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly. miaow! miaow! I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap behind the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is slightly more difficult to navigate. mraakk! Oh, small bird! Please come over here. ssssroww! I believe that I have found a woodchuck. I shall now act terribly brave. mmmmmmm If I sit in the sunshine for another week or so, I think I shall be satisfied.
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