Date: 3/24/2003 9:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 43807
wow. looks like you have quite a problem. I guess the question you should ask your self, is .. Do you love him? Only after you get the answer to this question can you truly proceed with your ultimatum.  |
Date: 3/24/2003 9:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 53427
If he really cared about you he would leave his wife first.  |
Date: 3/24/2003 9:53:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 11721
Ah no I don't love him I like him a lot. And I really don't want him to lave his wife. Especially not for me! He is getting a divorce there is no doubt in my mind regardless of if he "gets me" or not. I don't want to be part of the reason for his divorce in anyway! If he hadn't been married to her - I'd really be interested but I have distanced myself from him because of that. He also claims that he is never getting married again. So it's either give in and throw away my morals or ??? I don't know  |
Date: 3/24/2003 9:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 53961
Run, don't walk away! No matter what the situation, he is still MARRIED. If he gets a divorce, give him a year to get his head screwed on straight. You can not change him; he has to do it himself.  |
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Date: 3/24/2003 9:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 53961
Many of us have said we will never marry again... |
Date: 3/24/2003 9:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 53339
I think that you should just step back and give it time. Don't give him an ultamatium but let him know that right now you would not be comfortable with a relationship with him. Maybe after the divorce is settled you rming and concience will be more at ease with talking the relationship further.  |
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Date: 3/24/2003 10:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 53339
mind* taking* |
Date: 3/24/2003 10:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 24924
You're a fool if you fall for HIS side of the story; and it IS his side. Plus, a guy who drinks will always lie; you better believe it, toots! The grass is not greener on the other side. You are playing with fire and you most definitely will get burned. RUN! Run for your life; and don't look back. I would bet the farm that if you had a good long talk with the little wifey poo, she would have a whole other , very DIFFERENT story. SO, who would you believe? What a mess.  |
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Date: 3/24/2003 10:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 53339
Everyone lies to make the story favor them so it is unfair to say that because he drinks he is a liar, also she never did say just how much he drank or if he's an alcoholic so its unfair to judge him based soley on that. |
Date: 3/24/2003 10:17:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 11721
Thank you Baby Cry and thinker those are really good points. I realize what you say is true. It really is a mess. It seems either way I loose a friend!  |
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Date: 3/24/2003 10:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 24924
Baby cry, I've had MUCHO experience with the drinkers, and those who deny having a problem with alcohol; as well as flat out alcoholics. In any case, a guy who goes sniffing around BEFORE he gets a divorce, and puts pressure on a girl WHILE he is STILL married....is T R O U B L E. |
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Date: 3/24/2003 10:35:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 11721
By drinker I don't mean drinks every day I mean drinks once or twice a month. |
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Date: 3/24/2003 10:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 53339
I don't deny that it was wrong for him to start looking for a relationship while he was still married , But I just think it is unfair for someone to make a judgement on someone when all they were told was that he drinks. I mean I could tell you that my boyfriends drinks... but he only drinks maybe five times a year and no more than two or three beers and as far as I know he has always been honest with me or at least tried to be as honest with me as much as I try to be honest with him. But whatever I guess we are just taking our own experiences with different types of drinkers and getting our own picture of what this guy is like. |
Date: 3/25/2003 3:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 24003
I agree with Thinker!  |
Date: 3/25/2003 6:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 28848
Keep your distance until the divorce is final, because if you give in to him, he may never even get a divorce and then you'll be left with nothing, if you know what I mean.... If he really cares for you he would respect your decision to wait.  |
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Date: 3/25/2003 6:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 28848
I take my statement back and agree with Thinker. She's got alot of good advice there. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I've been in situations like this. Oh well... Take Thinker's advice! |
Date: 3/25/2003 6:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 59418
Well, still be his friend, he'll need all the support he can get going through a divorce...it can't be easy! His wife sounds very demanding. If you DO love him, and would like something to happen between you, i suggest you wait a while before moving in for the kill. Going through divorce will mess up his mind and stuff, i'm sure he'll need some time to think, and to get over stuff. If he feels the same way for you, as you feel for him, then go for it...just give him time. good luck, i hope whatever he chooses to do, only good comes out of it, and to you too!  |
Date: 3/25/2003 7:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
Stay with what is right! You don't know her side of the story and until the divorce has gone through, i wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Also, he says he never wants to marry again. Are you willing to be with him with no chance of getting married?  |
Date: 3/25/2003 9:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 53284
If I were in your shoes, I would stay on the moral high ground. When his divorce is final, then you can date him. Don't get yourself in the middle. You stand too much chance of getting hurt.  |
Date: 3/25/2003 10:38:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 11721
Thanks guys I just needed some reassurance! I will keep you posted  |
Date: 5/7/2003 9:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 58611
Girl, stay away! Dont be stupid now, come on you know right from wrong dont ya? Get away, far away from this man! The stain on your soul will not be worth it-I promise! You should not even care what is going on in thier marriage because dearest, there are 2 sides to every story, and you dont know her side...trust me, she dont act like this for no reason! How would you feel if the man you marrried and live your whole life for and plan each and every day of your life around was crying to someone else? This will haunt you in the end, everything we do comes back to us...dont forget that. I would hate to see you get hurt because of this. And what if the wife finds out-she could flip out and kill you! Or just run your name into the dirt in your community you will be known as a homewrecker. Dont make this mistake. You have been warned.  |
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Date: 5/13/2003 1:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 11721
Yeah I know that AR and thats a few more of the reasons I have stayed away. It was hard cause I had to do a lot of making up excuses but I think he finally got the picture. And I have thought about how she feels which is why I have tried to get him to go to counseling. I want them to stay togher and I don't want this situation...I just didn't know how to get out of it - safely. |
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Date: 5/14/2003 6:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 58611
Brina I am so proud of you for making the best choice in this situation! These things can get sooo messy sometimes! I don't normally get so worked up over posts here, but this one just really sent up a red flag for me! I don't know why, but for some reason when I read these posts, I just felt that you really needed to get out of this! I didn't use the best choice of words, but like I said, something just shot right through me....LOL! I hope that you can forgive me, or at least understand that your best interest was in my heart. |
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Date: 5/14/2003 8:04:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 11721
Yes Aqua Rose of course I forgive you cause I am just as hot tempered as you sometimes |
