i dont know what to do. i have so many of my own problems right now. that it just dont seem right. but i just got done spending the last 30 minutes crying. because i cant understand. All my life, ive always tryed to be Polite, Respectful, considerate of others, nice,without ever expecting anything in return, and never once have i purposely step on an insect. It is this reason i find many peoples inhumaity cruelty to others so horrendous.
i am pleased bc i feel that i've been doing good these past few days since the war started, Ive been the best that i could, patriotic and loyal, i can take whatever you throw at me attitude. Exactly the way that i belive i should be reacting in a time like this. but tonight i just broke. I just went for a walk, to edge of the bluffs, and ijust looked at the night sky, and the missouri river below, and i just thought and i cryed.
I cannot even fathom how someone can treat another human being so inhumanly. The way that saddam treats those people, I cant even began to express how horrid i am at the way our p.o.w.s are being treated. I begain to think of the what ifs" what if saddam does win?, what will come of America? What will come of the iraqi people? what will come of me? What will i do with my life? what im i doing here at this school? and we bettter win this thing because---
Im a horrible person because im losing my faith in god. I asked for a sign from god tonight in the stars above. I received none. And the cold dark night sky staryed at me, blinking. and all i could think of was, god what is going to happen. and when you see the night sky like that and with all that horrible news that surrounds us. I have to ask, Is- Nothing gonna change my world? or something?
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