That's It,I've Had Enough!

I keep crying myself to sleep almost everynight. I cry alot during the day. And,alot of times hide it. I'm 19 years old. I am or was in love with a 30 year old man. I keep telling people they just don't understand. Great,I can't even write this post without crying. Here's the thing,I'm like on a big emotional rollercoaster. I really believe I'm depressed right now but no one else believes me. But,I'm really sad most of the time. The guy I like is just a friend,that's all he ever was. But,I let myself get way to emotionally attached. We got in a fight Sunday night and now our friendship is kinda over. But,now I just feel like I'm in so much pain. I admit,I was in love. I would have done anything for this guy. I would have gone to the point to die for him. I'd do anything for him. Ok,I guess one thing everyone should know about me,I hate being alone. And,I'm afraid of being alone. And,right now this guy was all I had. I don't have many friends. And,I don't really get along with people my age. I'm going through some major changes in life and I'm a little scared. But,when I was able to talk to this guy I always felt better. I don't even feel like I can begin to explain anything to my family. Even my dad. I always told my dad everything and now I feel like I can't talk to him. I need help. I need someone to talk to but have no one. I gotta go for now. I feel to upset to right anymore

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