paired off in twos for the day. wooden nickel

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck.

"Where's Henry?"

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"

"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

======================

"Get Along Better"

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

1. Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3 things:

1. Is it true? 2. Is it kind? 3. Is it necessary?

2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully.

3. Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone.

4. Refuse to talk negatively about others; don't gossip and don't listen to gossip.

5. Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.

6. Keep an open mind; discuss, but don't argue. (It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.)

7. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing or saying anything that could make matters worse.

8. Let your virtues speak for themselves.

9. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one will believe the negative remark.

10. Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

11. Do not seek so much to be consoled, as to console; do not seek so much to be understood, as to understand; do not seek so much to be loved as to love.

12. Because I took a moment to speak And you took a second to smile A tiny part of me will leave with you And a little bit of you will stay

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The inveterate horse player paused before taking his place at the betting window, and offered up a fervent prayer to his Maker.

"Blessed Lord," he murmured with mountain moving sincerity, "I know You don't approve of my gambling, but just this once, Lord, just this once, please let me break even. I need the money so badly."

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Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.

"Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really really hard."

So Mickey climbed up on the window sill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground just a few inches below.

Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the heck happened?!?"

Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him."

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The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

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