The loneliness hidden in these bruises --iCyFiRe

I wake up every morning to an empty room,
covers pulled off of me as I feel a rush of coldness.
This emptiness inside is too much to bear,
I can't go on living like this anymore.

I walk the halls of my high school,
every one is together and laughing,
as I just continue walking silently to myself,
wishing some one would notice my presence in these halls.
The only feeling that fills my soul
is that feeling of loneliness that eats me away.
Some day everything will be gone,
I'll lose everything that is in my life now,
I'll lose you, I'll lose him, I'll lose her,
everything will be lost,
so I don't see why I just don't live it up now.
I've got all of these things right infront of me,
yet all I can do is sit back quietly,
and watch this world pass me by
as I care in my own loneliness and misery.

Do they even notice that I care so much?
Do they even notice that I'm sitting here alone,
miserable and holding back the tears,
head buried in my hands to keep them hidden.
As I walk away,
no one notices that the spot where I once was is empty now.

I'm left awake at night,
thinking of all the awful things in my mind,
and I can't help but cry everything out to this empty room.
Does any one even care?
What if I were to leave?
Would any one even care?
I'm on the ground crawling for my life,
and all they can do is walk all over me,
bruises and blood that is all my own.
The cuts will heal some day,
but new ones will always be there to replace them.

I'll always be left waiting alone.
Waiting for something that I'm afraid will never come.

--iCyFiRe
**2/1/03

I'm trying to get back into the process of writing poems. I haven't been writing much lately. I have a lot of feelings inside of me, I just can't get them out into words recently. But I'll try to write more. For myself. This one wans't the best poem, but oh well. It's the first I've written in a little while.

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