True Wacky Stories ~~Angeleyez~~

Ridiculous Lawsuits

A novel attempt to sue McDonald's over its calorie-crammed burgers and fries brought both sides to federal court late last year, where lawyers with nothing better to do, claimed the fast-food chain had created a national epidemic of obese children.

The class action suits were filed on behalf of New York children who have suffered health problems, including diabetes, high blood pressure, and obesity, allegedly due to McDonald's food.

The cases were of course thrown out, but this isn't stopping other "idiotic" people from suing fast food chains.

Carol Riddley of South Tucson, AZ is going to bring charges against an "un-named" fast food chain claiming that the food from that chain has caused her and her 3 children "financial loss".

She held a press conference in front of her home. Here are a few sound bites:

"My lawyer's are not allowing me to name the fast food chain by name, but they are well known, and named after a girl, if that helps anything. I am suing the chain for $75 million US dollars because my children and I have gained over 200 pounds each in the past 12 years".

She continued on:

"After researching the past 12 years I discovered, with the help of our attorney who was kind enough to contact us after noticing my weight problem at the local mall where I was buying a dress at at a Lane Bryant store, that my children and I had been eating fast food almost 5 times a week. The fast food chain never warned me that the 2 - 4 burgers that I was eating each time I went in was high in fat. They had some nerve selling me those cheeseburgers, fries, cherry pie, and large chocolate shake every day without informing me of the health risks."

Mrs. Riddley was then asked by a reporter, "Why do you feel you are justified $75 million?"

Her reply: "My children and I have to buy more expensive clothes, and spend more money on bed sheet material to keep our larger bodies worm. I weigh 402 pounds, and when I fly on planes I have to buy two tickets. Over my lifetime I am going to have to spend more and more, and I had to quit my job because of the depression issues. My lawyer also suggested the amount."

As a reader of this ezine do you feel that overweight people such as Carol Riddley should sue fast food chains for their weight issues? Or do you blame them for being too much of an idiot for eating at fast food chains everyday? Or do you blame the lawyers for preying on idiots to get them to sue in the first place?

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Stupid Criminal #1

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

----- Stupid Criminal #2

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

----- Stupid Criminal #3

A South Carolina man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

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Stupid Criminal of the Week

Bobby Brown was sentenced to 8 days in a Georgia jail for breaking his parole.

Brown was told by a Georgia judge to not leave the state of Georgia until after his drunk driving trial had been completed. Brown left Georgia to perform at the "American Music Awards" in Los Angeles.

The Georgia judge saw Brown's performance, and issued his arrest right away.

Maybe Bobby Brown didn't know that television sets are sold in Georgia. Now he does, and we thank him for being this week's big idiot.

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