For every person with a spark of genius, wooden nickel

For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble.

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After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness

My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely.

"Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, ..."And will your grandmother need a rental car?"

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge. What's come over you? Two cars and a bus!

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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog. Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you. I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.

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Two lifelong friends had a running argument. The black friend would argue that God was black, and the white friend would disagree and say that God was white.

One day, they decided to go fishing. On the way back, they were still arguing about whether or not God was black or white. Before they knew it, they where in an accident, and they found themselves in heaven. When they got there, St. Peter met them at the Pearly gates. Again, the question was brought up, "Is God black or white?"

St. Peter told them to have a seat in the waiting room and God would come out and talk to them about it.

While they were waiting, they continued to argue whether God was black or white. Then they heard some footsteps coming. They turned around as the door swung open and in stepped in God in His grandest toga.

They looked to Him expectantly, waiting for His answer to their long running argument.

He smiled at them and said, "Hola muchachos!"

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These are all either or...True / False questions. Answers are at the bottom.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.

People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... even your heart!

Only 7% of the population are lefties.

40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

The average housefly lives for one month.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.

Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."

Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.

The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.

Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were seventh cousins.

If coloring was not added to Coca-Cola, it would be green. ----------------

answers to the quiz

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believe it or not, they are all TRUE

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