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I don't know what to do here....Flame-On

  Author:  38278  Category:(General Advice) Created:(12/17/2002 4:27:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (954 times)

I think this is now the second time I've posted in this category. Anyway, this isn't really a problem but I have this cousin who I haven't seen since some time in the 80's (I was about 5 years old). Most of my family come from Grenada, including my parents, the cousin, and his parents. He's lived there all his life until recently. He now goes to the University of Arizona and lives in a dorm.

He recently came here to spend the holidays and is staying with one of our aunts until after Christmas. We're having Christmas at my house so I'll see him then unless he decides to come by before then. He had been e-mailing me before this. He wanted to know how I've been and stuff like that. He had also been talking to my mother on the phone a few times asking about me.

I've never been much of a trusting person so I find it odd that he's so interested in meeting me. It's not like he's after my money. I don't have any. Am I right to feel this way or should I make the effort to get to know him?

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Replies:      
Date: 12/17/2002 4:30:00 PM  From Authorid: 46486    Make an effort, but don't make a huge effort.. I mean, don't tell him much personal information, just enough like.. favorite music etc. ya know?  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:31:00 PM  From Authorid: 54968    Get to know him. Maybe he wants to find out what you're like. =)  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:34:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    Yeah, I could do that. I wouldn't want to tell him about all my dark secrets. LOL!  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:36:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    It's hard for me to talk to people, Sporti, even with family. Like I said, I haven't seen or heard from him in a long time. I don't even know what he looks like now. I'll see what happens though.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 6817    Maybe he just remembers you from when you were young and wants to see how you turned out. I would be excited too if it were my long lost cousin!  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 59746    Maybe he's just so excited, because he barely knows you.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:40:00 PM  From Authorid: 53900    he is your family I would assume he does not want to do anything to hurt you. Maybe he just wants to find out if you guys have anything in common so he will have soemthing to talk to you about when he comes to see you.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 45948    Maybe he is lonely and looking for a friend. Didn't you say he just moved? You never know until you try. I say go for it.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:42:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    I don't even remember what he was like when I last saw him and we're the same age. If he gets to know me, he might wish he hadn't with my history.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:44:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    I just don't understand why he wants to talk to me of all people. There are many other cousins he can talk to, especially the family favorite who I hate so much.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 53284    Some people are just outgoing and friendly. He is a relative and may just be that way. He also may just be trying to connect to family.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:47:00 PM  From Authorid: 53900    I have not talked to you a whole lot but I think you are probably more interesting and fun to be around then you give yourself credit for.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:48:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    That would make sense since he is the only one in our family that lives in Arizona.  
Date: 12/17/2002 4:49:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    I don't know about that, Jessica. I spend most of my time at home.  
Date: 12/17/2002 5:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 53055    I know that feeling. I think it's cuz you haven't seen him in such a long time.  
Date: 12/17/2002 5:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 55330    Maybe he kept the conversation going on when he talked about you with your mom. Maybe he feels he needs to catch up with family and is starting with you! Give him a chance and I'm sure he won't be as suspicious as he seems to be right now. Go with the flow Flamey!  
Date: 12/17/2002 5:14:00 PM  From Authorid: 57452    Agree^^^ ~Ms.  
Date: 12/17/2002 5:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 55330    Thanks HL! *giggles*  
Date: 12/17/2002 6:04:00 PM  From Authorid: 31255    I had a roommate that just met her cousin for the first time. They talked in email for awhile and he talked to her parents previously. They met and they really had a blast together. I think your probably fine and he is just be curious so he can get to know you a lil bit before he meets you. Its family... I wouldn't worry so much until you met him.  
Date: 12/18/2002 5:10:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    Thank you, Nettie and Toodles. I want to be careful how I talk to him because I don't know anything about him.  
Date: 12/18/2002 10:13:00 AM  From Authorid: 46139    What your feeling is very normal due to the fact
that he is practically a stranger;familly or not
you don't know him that well so it's good to keep
your guard up untill you feel comfortable enough
to let it down.
  
Date: 12/18/2002 10:20:00 AM  From Authorid: 46139    *Flameon*,there you go the family favorite might
just be what you guy's have in common ....who knows
he might not like them either...I'd wait for him
to bring it up before I even mentioned it though
(haha)LOL.
  
Date: 12/18/2002 12:48:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 38278    Thanks, Oshen.  

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