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I don't want to hurt anyone.. but what can i do?

  Author: 61453  Category:(General Advice) Created:(12/15/2002 3:58:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1191 times)

Well last night (the 14th) was the christmas dance at my school. My boyfriend had to work, so he told me that he'd like for me to take a date.. so i wasn't lonely and keeping to myself. Well, i found a date. The thing is this date had a huge crush on me for a very long time during the 3 months that we lost touch. After we started talking again, we made it "known" that each of us had someone.

This dance was supposed to be my date's christmas present, since i had not a clue as to what to buy him. Well, i slow danced with him a couple times.. nothing too major. I didn't stand that close to him when we danced, which he got mad. He's like "You know you don't have to stand 50 feet away from me, right? I won't hurt you". So i took a tiny tiny step closer and continued dancing. Before i knew it he had pulled me against him whispering i was beautiful and how lovely i looked.. and that he liked me..etc. Then i tried to step back and he tightened his grip around my waist.

Finally when i was able to step back some (we were still dancing), he started like massaging me. Yet again i stepped back, telling him that i have a boyfriend. He never did anything. Next time we slow danced, (cuz of how stupid i am), he started massaging me again and getting all well girls.. you know. I kept stepping back.

I got to the point, i danced with myself. lol. And i grabbed my keys and was like "Wanna see a pic of my boyfriend?", he didn't say anything. So i showed him anyway, and he still didn't say anything. My friend thought i was mean..lol.. but she was laughing hysterically the whole time. That's besides the point.

OH.. not to mention.. the date bought me a perfume.. that was supposed to be 'romantic', i thought it was sweet.. and i didn't think much of it.

At the end when we were all leaving, my date just walked away from me without saying bye or anything. And i turned to my friend and said, "It didn't look like i was cheating was it", and she said no and that i was just having having a good time, which i was.

Now, i need some advice on how to tell this guy that was my date that i don't want as much contact anymore and such. And from what you all have read, do any of you honestly believe he has a girlfriend? How do i keep a little distance without hurting him?

Sorry it was so long

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Replies:      
Date: 12/15/2002 4:13:00 PM  From Authorid: 49091    I don't think he has a gf, and if he does, he's a playa!!! Tell him straight out that you are not interested in him AT ALL and if you WEREu'd be going out with him, which your NOT. Tell your bf that you were very uncomfortable dancing with him at the dance. Maybe he'll take care of him. If you need to talk or something, feel free to msg me. Good luck!! :0)  
Date: 12/15/2002 4:34:00 PM  From Authorid: 39350    Man don't crush the boys Heart! I mean he does have one. Just tell him ur not interested that your heart belongs toy our boyfriend. But at least be a friend to the other guy. *huggs*  
Date: 12/15/2002 4:38:00 PM  From Authorid: 56410    o.O; If he has a girlfriend, I feel sorry for her! I think he's desperate... I would be freaked out to talk to him again..  
Date: 12/15/2002 5:06:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 61453    yea AV, i am sort of freaked out to talk to him. I definately wasn't expecting any of this to happen. I'm actually kind of sorry it did.
Date: 12/15/2002 5:10:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 61453    You do have a point Fire Rain. Yea, i told my boyfriend about everything that happened.. only cuz he asked.. and my boyfriend's not real happy with the guy. I tried a little to hint around that i was only looking for a good time, nothing more. I don't think i'll be going to any more dances unless my boyfriend's there.
Date: 12/15/2002 5:12:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 61453    That's what i'm afraid of doing, lovebug. I don't want to hurt him, i mean he is a nice person. That is a really good thing to tell him, that my heart does belong to my boyfriend, maybe then the point will get fully across.
Date: 12/15/2002 6:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 46515    Did you say that your date with him was his Christmas present? What a jip! OK now, heres my advise, stay away from the poor kid and stop giving him false hopes. (and crummy gifts)  
Date: 12/15/2002 6:13:00 PM  From Authorid: 7654    I hate to be blunt but you should have told him and been honest with him to start with...Did you even tell him you were involved with someone and just needed a date for this party?  
Date: 12/15/2002 7:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 59746    I honestly don't know what you should do.  
Date: 12/15/2002 7:43:00 PM  From Authorid: 59746    Yes, I do. Look, if you honestly love your boyfriend, and have absolutely no feelings for this other guy, then you'll have no problem doing this.... Now, it seemed that this guy has been waiting for you for a while, and couldn't really control himself that night. It also seemed that he was jealous by your actions and your boyfriend. Chances are, he'll forget about the whole thing, once he realizes that he can't have you, but it really does seem that he's hurt. I think that you should talk to him, find out what he's really thinking. If he's, what... "crazy" about you, or whatever, you could try to change his mind somehow without hurting him. Just talk to him, but don't let him get any further than he's already gotten. One more thing, don't let your boyfriend find out about this... he might end up jealous. (I've been there before.) Let me know how it all turns out. SISTA A  

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