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Patient Notes!

  Author:  56287  Category:(Humor) Created:(11/19/2002 11:04:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (924 times)

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient refused autopsy.

The patient has no previous history of suicides.

Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The skin was moist and dry.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until got a divorce.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

Skin: somewhat pale but present.

The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 11/19/2002 11:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 14754    LOL..working in the medical field..i can appreciate these...thanks..they are so funny  
Date: 11/19/2002 12:13:00 PM  From Authorid: 15777    LOL!!! I seen stuff like this everyday working in the UC LOL...brings back memories  
Date: 11/19/2002 12:37:00 PM  From Authorid: 53427    LOL!  
Date: 11/20/2002 4:44:00 PM  From Authorid: 48758    LOL!! This is hilarious!!  

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