Melissaisms... (Miskela)

[Used with permission from my website.]

MELISSAISMS

I bet you're asking yourself the simple question: "What on God's Green Earth is a Melissaism"? Well it's a good one and you get ten points for asking the obvious.

Melissaism - any word, phrase, or action unique to this Melissa that would not usually be placed in a dictionary or intentionally acted upon by any reasonable person. (By the way? I had it first. Fish ripped me off! I was talking inanely LONG before Ally McBeal came around! Ha ha!)

An in case you're wondering? I really do use these Melissaisms. If I can't find a word to fit what I want to say, I just make it up. (Needless to say, my spell checker is going bonkers on this page) Or maybe I've caught a phrase from someone and adopted it as my own - - that works, too. Or perhaps I'm so lazy that I'm still recycling phrases from the 70's and I just can't bear to give them up yet. Or MAYBE I just think it's amusing and do it JUST BECAUSE I CAN.

WORDS

"[insert word]-sickles" - Fingersickles (cold fingers). Melissasickle (cold Melissa).

"BP" - Big Plan. As in, "what's the BP for tonight?"

"Foofy" - Sticking up, out, or all over the place (as in bad hair day)

"Futz" - Fiddle around with something until it is ruined beyond repair.

"Habawa?" - A question. It means "come again?"

"Melvention" - Something I create. Maybe I haven't created it yet, but I had the idea for the invention, right? A melvention. An INTERmelvention would be a totally different situation and not at all pleasant so I won't add it here

"Mish Mash" - A whole mix of things.

"Schwack" - Many. A whole lot of. More than a little.

"Smunched" - Squished. Flattened like a pancake.

"Snarf" - To eat VERY VERY quickly with great energy and appreciation.

"Snockered" - Drunk. Wasted. Inebriated.

"Vocabularical" - Having to do with vocabulary (or lack thereof).

PHRASES

"Let's roll" - As in, "let's go" or "I'd like to leave now". My husband bugs me about this ALL the time. He mocks me with this kind of deep sort of cowboy accent - it's priceless. Maybe I should start saying, "Let's ride."

"Break free from society" - I used this a LOT in high school and college (first time) with my girlfriends. It means...do your OWN thing, baby.

"Chaps my hide" - Cheeses me off

"Don't sweat the small stuff" - A favourite of my mother throughout my growing years. Probably her most infamous catch-phrase.

"I hate rabbits" - Utterly useless phrase used while sitting in front of a campfire and the smoke travels your way. You say that and SUPPOSEDLY....it goes away. (Riiiiight.)

"SBD" - (Silent but deadly) In reference to wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too many bean burritos and their charming after-affects. My sister and I used to torture each other with this phrase - even when it didn't apply.

"Lava Lamp" - Pretty to look at, but not too bright.

"Mental Margarita" - Allowing the brain a momentary lapse of intelligence.

"Oddly compelling..." - A situation that both draws you to it and repulses you at the same time (The Anna Nicola Smith Show).