Hi! I'm New Here.

I came across this site by accident when I was doing a search. I was trying to find out how Julia Child got to be a hundred years old and eight feet tall by eating nothing but a steady diet of butter and heavy cream. I never found what I was looking for but I did find an interesting post here where someone was asking everybody to guess how many jarflies are in Cincinnatti in a typical summer. When I saw that, I said, five dollars is nothing! Cut me off a piece of that action and do it now. That's the big ticket item. Deal me in! Yeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwww!

I haven't met anyone here yet. So far, I'm just trying to get a feel for the place. That bat on the main page is pretty cool but I swear I think that blinking coffee thing is Satanic. It made me have a seizure and I woke up with hot chocolate all over me. I'm going to strip down in a minute and see what all I burned.

Although I haven't been here very long at all, I've noticed that a lot of people must be named Luv Bug because I've seen that name on many posts and in many replies to other posts. I think I might pick out a different name. So far, I've only seen one Miss C. so maybe that will be my name. I don't know. It seems sort of feminine. It's a shame they don't have more names to pick from.

Hey! How much would I have to pay for one of those cool cartoon movie thingies that show up after everything that I write? Those are pretty nifty. Being the new guy here, I just want to feel like one of the gang. I read for a while and then I finally just drew something on a little piece of paper. Everytime I write anything, I stick it there on my screen at the end and sort of wiggle it around a little bit. I don't know why but it makes me feel a little bit better.

My monkey had a miscarriage because I paid the five dollars that was supposed to go the vet to join this site. You should have seen the way he was doubled over holding his stomach earlier. Wait a minute. I think I spoke too soon. What I found on the floor wasn't.... I know what's going on here. He's been eating my peanut butter again. Bad monkey! Bad, bad monkey! I never really thought he was pregnant anyway.

I've noticed that some of you have what you call USM families. From what I've seen, though, nobody has any USM neighbors. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor...would you be mine? Could you be mine? That might not be such a bad idea. Won't you be my USM neighbor?

Sincerely,

Miss C. (subject to change at any time)

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