Things To Think About

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

5. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

6. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

7. Is there another word for synonym?

8. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

9. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

10. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

11. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

12. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

13. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

14. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

15. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

16. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

17. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

18. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

19. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

20. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

21. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

22. How is it possible to have a civil war?

23. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

24. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

25. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?

26. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

27. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

28. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

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