LIFE - written on 9/04/93

Magic is blowing in the air, Turmoil blowing everwhere,
I can't believe this scene, Life is so short, yet persons you meet
can be so mean.

Ugliness is such a terrible word, Yet there is so much of it in the world.
We hope not to be sad at least a little less,
But there is always someone to make it such a mess.

You trust, you hope, you love and you mourn, Why? Why is life so worn?
I don't know, I wish I knew.
Happiness is not long, but short and few.

You fear, you hate, yet you also love to be near, because love is the
greatest, yet it's always the one that you fear.

To be love and nurture while in your mother's womb,
only to be cast out to a lonely death tomb.

A child crying into the night, afraid yet looking towards the light.
Wanting freedom from a ghost from the past, present and future,
Only finding a hideous creature.

A mother who is supposed to be loving, but is not.
And a father who is touching, oh what a sorrowful lot.

A fight for a broken child who is trying to survive and grow old,
only to be cast and sold like bread full of mold.
Why? Oh why did you place me in such a deep well?
So full of hate, so full of fear, so full of everything, but of tears.

Why? Why can't I cry? I wish I could, I really would.
But if I cry my greatest fear is that you would be near.

Why? Oh why can't you be the mother I want for me?
Why can't you be there for the things I want and need?

A mother and father should be nurturing, yet why only torturing?
Please answer me I need to know,
This is an impossibility, because he is dead and she is old.

A mother so full of hate for a child, who was meek and mild,
Again the questions of why so much pain?
Were they also full of pain?

The battle was once fought and lost not won,
is now over and finally won.

I am in control of my destiny, If I win I win,
If I lose, I lose.
No one will ever be in control of me.

I am one not four, there will be an open door.

Dreams, fantasies will come through for me,
Why? Because this is me not she.