Why Does Life Have To Be So Hard? LOL! **Frankenstein

So often, we are all faced with tough decisions. Someone asked me today if I would rather be wealthy and lead a carefree life or be boiled in water and served with lemon wedges like a lobster. I stood there and thought about it for a minute and then finally shrugged and walked away. I'm still not so sure. If the latter were to ever happen, I would only ask that I be dead before my legs and tail were cracked open. Otherwise, I might have to take you to the complaint department. I can see it now. There I would be with broken, empty legs and a sad, hollow tail trying to drag you down a long hallway. That's not a pretty picture.

I think the most unfair question of all time would have to be the one about if you were in the ocean with your mom, your spouse and your kid and who you would save if it could only be one of them. You could narrow it down if you had the time to think about it. Does one of them really get on your nerves? Let that one go. Is one really rich and you know for a fact that you're in their will. Let that one go too. Who cares what the remaining one is like? You'll be rich and carefree so you could probably just have them committed or deported or whatever. Make something up because lawyers seem to love to take stuff like that and run with it.

I think that by this point most of you have come to the conclusion that this is a 'nonsense post' and that it's only for fun. You're partly right but like most of my other posts, there is a thinly veiled layer over something much more serious which is buried underneath. If you dig for it, it's there. On the other hand, if you dig up a grave as a joke on Halloween, you're liable to end up having a flesh eating zombie firmly latched onto your rear end with it's snaggly teeth. I don't think you would want that, now would you? Hmmmm? Nope. I didn't think so.

I nearly wrecked our car today. I was driving along on a narrow road which is in a rural area on the outskirts of this little town. I happened to glance over and there, right in front of God and the whole world was a cow taking a massive pee. That sucker was whizzing up a royal storm and I was laughing so hard that it was hard to keep the car on the road. I don't know why that struck me as being so funny at the time but it did. Do you see what I'm talking about? I nearly wrecked out poor car just because some silly cow has a penchant for water! That's insane!

I got an email from a close friend today. He said that he was contemplating the idea of joining a cult. He has an interest in making movies and, apparently, they do that sort of thing independantly. Does that automatically make everything that they turn out a 'cult movie'? I don't know. If I knew that, I would probably be Buddha or some other fat, bald, half-naked guy. There is an old cult movie called, "Werewolves on Wheels." I'm serious, it's a real movie. I think the sequal was called, "Werewolves on Saltines." Like so many 'B' movies, it was a sleeper and if you ever watch it, you'll probably wind up being a sleeper too. Movies should never be boring. There should always be plenty of exploding ducks and bridges lit with eighty-seven thousand birthday candles or something just to keep it interesting. There is never a good reason to have to show some dork eating Doritos and reading about werewolves for an hour and a half. Why would I want to ever suffer through watching something like that? That brings up a question. Would I rather watch it or have hot needles shoved under my finger nails. Well, I'm not sure. Can I answer that later?

Now, I'll conclude this post. With any luck, it's made you think. Here's a question for you. Would you rather keep reading and writing on USM or get your arm chopped off and have someone cauterize the wound with a torch? I know it's a tough question. Think it over for a minute before you answer.

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