desperately waiting --iCyFiRe

Don't come near me,
I know I'd jump into your arms without warning,
and try to hold you close.
You'd push me off,
and I'd be lying on the ground,
thrown away by you.
You'll walk away,
and I'll be left there,
crying out for you to come back to me.
But you never would.
So drive that knife through my heart now,
while I'm still wanting you back in my arms,
because I know that if I look at you one second longer,
I'll want to take control,
and instead I'd be the one driving a knife through hearts.
I know I'd never get as far as holding that knife in my hand,
for your heart it too precious to be touched by me.
So just grab that knife,
and shove it through me as hard as you can,
you can turn away if you don't like the sight.
I'd lie on the floor,
covered in blood,
watching you look away from me.
You were never a fan of blood,
even if it was my own.

Even with the offering,
you still won't pick up the knife.
Isn't that something you'd like?
Can't you see that I'd do anything for you?
I'd even take a knife driven by you,
and lie there suffering,
watching you above me.
What is it going to take for you to realize?
I'm sick of waiting for something that will never come,
so here's your chance.
Here's your knife.
I watch you pass me, refusing,
so I take the knife,
and drive it through my own heart.
If you couldn't do it,
then I will.

--iCyFiRe
**10/28/02

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