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An 80's Love Story....................

  Author:  49025  Category:(Humor) Created:(10/24/2002 10:45:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (1043 times)

An 80's Love Story

I was working part time in a five and dime. My boss was Mr. Magee. He was six foot four and full of muscles and walked like an Egyptian, but I was happy to be stuck with him. One manic Monday, while I was busy working for the weekend, I overheard him make a careless whisper.

He told two of my co-workers, Jack and Diane, that I gave love a bad name. Well, I got so emotional, baby. I told him to say say say what he wants, but don't play games with my affection. He told me it was hard for him to say he's sorry and not to worry, to be happy. Then he blamed it on the rain. He was so out of touch. It just took my breath away. I couldn't fight this feeling any longer. I asked him "What's love got to do with it?" He told me to get outta his store and his dreams and into my car.

So I figured I might as well jump. I cut footloose, went home and called my girl, Jenny. (You already know the number) She was on the other line with Amanda. They were talking about Mickey and how he was so fine. That blew my mind! Was she really going out with him? I told her that I had just called to say I love her. She told me she had been saving all her love for me, but now she was looking for a new love - asta la vista, baby. I thought "I can't go for that - no can do! Bring me a higher love!" I called up some of my old west end girls, hoping that one of them would want to get physical all night long (all night). First I called Billie Jean - she told me to beat it. I called Rosanna - her sister Christian blessed the rains down in Africa and then hung up on me. Come on, Eileen! ... no answer. Nobody told me there'd be days like these! I was feeling like the owner of a lonely heart.

Then, out of the blue, my best friend's girlfriend (she used to be mine) Roxanne calls. Yes, the real Roxanne. She told me she still hadn't found what she's looking for and that she wanted to take on me. I said "I thought you were Jessie's girl." She said "Don't you want me? You don't have to put on the red light - I'm on my own." What a feeling! I had the eye of the tiger. Who was I f-f-f-foolin? Roxanne drove me crazy like no one else. She's a beauty! She blinded me with science, and weird science at that. There was always something there to remind me of her and I just knew that I'd have the time of my life.

I wasn't about to la-di-da-di. I jumped in my little red Corvette and rocked down to Electric Avenue. I got my mind set on her. When I got to her house (in the middle of her street) I ran. I rapped on her front door and to this rapper's delight, i heard a voice say "Who can it be now?" "Here I am, the one that you love", I replied. I let my love open the door and was immediately lost in her eyes. I felt like a virgin touched for the very first time. She loosened her blouse and said "Rock me Amadeus!" Well, I felt it was my prerogative to bust a move. I told her "I'll tumble for ya!" as I pinned her on the stairs, hungry like the wolf.

Just then I felt an invisible touch on my shoulder. "Turn around bright eyes!" said a familiar voice. As I did, Jessie hit me with a sledgehammer of an uppercut that spun me right round like a record. He was hangin' tough and continued to roll with it, knocking the wind from beneath my wings - broken wings by this time. He rocked me tonight, for old time's sake, beating me from head to toe, until my true colors were black and blue and blood was spilling from my mouth like red, red wine. "You don't owe me money for nothing!" he snarled. At this point I was livin' on a prayer. I crawled back to my little red Corvette and drove home thinking about how my tainted love had cut like a knife how it seems that every rose, truly, has its thorn. No longer do I want to know what love is. Love stinks.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 10/24/2002 10:47:00 AM  From Authorid: 30747    OMG did you write this? This must of took some time to do. It's very cool.  
Date: 10/24/2002 10:49:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 49025    LOL - No, I didn't write it. A friend here at work sent it to me. I couldn't resist sharing it!!  
Date: 10/24/2002 11:09:00 AM  From Authorid: 53478    That was awesome!!!!! Thanks for posting it!  
Date: 10/24/2002 11:53:00 AM  From Authorid: 53284    I could never do that. I'm always the one that's going... come on what's that song you know it goes da da da da da dum LOO  
Date: 10/24/2002 12:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 50758    Very funny. I liked it! Thanks!  
Date: 10/24/2002 12:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 53427    That is so cute. I loved the eighties especially the music. Good post.  
Date: 10/24/2002 2:34:00 PM  From Authorid: 12257    That was AWESOME!! I loved it, where did you get that?! Only a true 80's fan (like myself) can really appreciate it! Thanks for posting it   
Date: 10/24/2002 8:35:00 PM  From Authorid: 59940    Oh wow,thatw as weird!Funny,lol!Sad,OMG!! But [retty Uncanny!!! Fayes Eyes  
Date: 12/2/2002 5:56:00 PM  From Authorid: 28363    Did I write this? It sounds very familiar, hmm   
Date: 4/21/2004 6:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 56359    I LOVED this. I have always wanted to write something similar, only based on Jim Croce songs, and the characters in them. Great post!  
Date: 12/1/2005 11:58:00 AM  From Authorid: 51292    LOL that was really cool, thanks for posting it!   

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