Date: 10/3/2002 7:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 28336
i am not sure i can really help you but i just wanted to let you know that i know exactly what you are going through..my ex husband has not paid support in almost 10 years now and owes our kids 145,000 in back support...he has not seen my boys in almost 11 years.....i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone......  |
Date: 10/3/2002 7:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
In Michigan, a bench warrant is automatically issued when a certain amount in arrearages is reached. I think the amount is $2000. He can't make any money in jail and you still won't collect child support, so either way, you're still in the same boat. If you think this might actually cause a change in his level of responibility take him to court. Most men would probably just get more angry and try even harder to NOT pay... which would STILL leave you in the same boat. I personally think that dead-beat parents are the lowest form of life and deserve whatever they get, but I'm not the one who has to live with the results of whatever action you decide to take. Good Luck... whatever you decide   |
Date: 10/3/2002 7:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 51635
You should call your lawyer or the state office that handles it, if he does go to jail for not paying you then he most likely won't be a dead beat when he gets out again. The judge will probably just tell him to get a real job and order his pay to be garnished. Take care of it not so no one can tell you that you should have.  |
Date: 10/3/2002 7:21:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 27270
Blue Moon, my $3000 is peanuts compared to what you are owed  I hope you can eventually collect the money your kids are owed. I know he won't make any money in jail, but I know he HAS the money and I just wish I could find a way to stop him from "short changing" not only the system, but his responsibility as well. He just went on a cruise that cost over $4000 for him and his girlfriend, and has lots of money stashed under his gf's name, so it just irritates me that he is able to have these luxuries yet cry poverty to me at the same time.  |
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Date: 10/3/2002 7:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
in that case... I would go with using the law, or at least the threat of it probably would make him cough up the money to avoid jail... |
Date: 10/3/2002 7:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
if he is working under the table to avoid the system i would have to wonder... is he also on support?? i would try to talk to him and say look this is the situation i need you to help pay i don't want to have to do it legally and go to court we have an agreement and please hold up your end... it's always nice to have a warning and a look this is my situation and asking to settle it between the two of you and if that doesn't work you may have to.. just try not to throw the child into a which parent loves her more and a this is all about the money situation becuae it's not.. with how you word it it's all about the safety and care of the child what is starting to lack(if your scraping hte pennies and barely able to make the payments for your car and having to move into such a place) do try and speak to him and maybe he might be understanding he probally knows that if it goes to court he has a good chance of going to jail  |
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Date: 10/3/2002 7:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
if he is working under the table alot and taking advantage of the system and it's brought up in court it could also have a check on him and he could be subject to lose even more... talk to him and lay out the situation it seems that he is trying to avoid paying(garnished wages and all) |
Date: 10/3/2002 7:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 27583
when a parent does not put the childs well being first and formost it is time to envolve whom ever you must to see that your child has everything that he or she needs. there always seems to be reasons as to why a person can not pay there fare share towards the raiseing of a child but there is always enough money to drink or party with others. make the responsible party meet there responsibility to help you feed clothe and provide a roof over your heads. children are a gift to be charished , not just an ocasional obligation. wooden nickel  |
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Date: 10/3/2002 7:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 27270
I have tried very hard to give him every chance without involving the law, in fact last Oct. (a year ago) we signed an agreement. It said that he paid me a "lump sum" to get a little caught up, agreed to make his payments ON TIME, and pay $50 extra a month, totalling $300 instead of $250 to make up for the remainder. That was a year ago and he has paid only $900 of the agreed on $3600 (for the past one year) which would have put him at pretty much current. I don't want to be a witch about it, but it seems as though his child support is the one bill he can "afford to put off" and I have often been told that it's my fault because basically I let him walk all over me. Meaning he knows I won't actually do anything, so he just doesn't pay. Last October, I DID threaten him w/ jail time and he made good on it only long enough for me to cool off....ugh....thanks you guys for all the great advice, please keep it coming!!! |
Date: 10/3/2002 8:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 22080
i have seen this and if hes getting under the table pay big woop thousands of people get that every day but also he should be a father not some guy that has a kid but never supports it but im not saying anything that you do this but my mom told me a story of this guy she knew that had a kid and his wife that made 10G's more than him kept raising child support till he had to give up custody NOW THATS WRONG  |
Date: 10/4/2002 2:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 51173
I've been through this one recently. My stepdaughter's biodad owes my wife 6300.00 in back arearage and 1500.00 for the last three months. My wife went to court here in Florida and sought a judgement against him and won. This means if he doesn't come up with the money in 90 days his house can be foreclosed, his car confiscated and his business assets taken. You would need a lawyer and the laws of your state would apply. Peace, Tom  |
Date: 10/4/2002 7:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 27215
I can't really tell you what to do, but I can say what that I would do if I was in your shoes. Your little girl is as much his as she is yours and it is his responsbility to help raise her just as it is yours. It is not right for him to "butter" the little girl up when she is with him and make her think that he is the greatest dad that ever lived when in fact, he is the lowest kind of scum there is around. I say to get all of the legal help that you can get and take his property and whatever that you can get and let him suffer the end effect. Don't keep pampering him like he is the child, when he isn't worth the air that he breaths in my book. I wish you much luck in what ever that you decide to do...;.  |
Date: 10/5/2002 10:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 28623
i say tell him you can't play this game anymore that your daughter needs it and him to so he should pay, talk to him and tell him the consciences. i had a dead beat dad till this day he says he's not ready to be a father even though he has another daughter who he plays father to and i say if he paid like he was supposed to then maybe just maybe he wouldn't be a complete and udder moron...... (sorry some suppressed anger there)  |
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Date: 10/6/2002 8:09:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 27270
Thanks for all of your advice guys. I am meeting w/ my lawyer next week so we can go over our options. I don't really like to do it, but at the same time I'm tired of just getting walked all over. Thanks again |
