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The Difference Between BOYS and GIRLS! , wooden nickel

  Author:  27583  Category:(Humor) Created:(10/3/2002 5:47:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1139 times)



You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

A little girl will pick up a stick and look in wonder at what nature has made. A little boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.

You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find a mud puddle between your home and church, even if you're driving there.

Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy too, but it's a good smelling mess.

Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys will tend to do things like putting a bucket over their heads and running into walls.

If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen more fake belches.

Little girls will think about doing things before taking any action. Little boys will just punch or kick something and then look surprised when someone asks them why they just punched their little brother who was half asleep and looking the other way.

When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to figure out how to remove their limbs and heads.

Little boys grow their fingernails long because they're too lazy to cut them. Little girls grow their fingernails long because they can dig them into a boy's arm.

Baby girls find mommy's makeup and instinctively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and instinctively start painting the walls.

Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. Boys are attracted to dirt.

Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the VCR after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" three times in a row.

By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.

Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.

Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys!

=========================================

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many friends you have Or how accepted you are. Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone. It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date, how many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all. It isn't about who you have kissed, It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have Or what kind of car you drive. Or where you are sent to school. It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are. Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, Or what kind of music you listen to. It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown, Or if your skin is too light or too dark. Not about what grades you get how smart you are, how smart everybody else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are. It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport. It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you."

Life just isn't.



Life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposely. It's about keeping or betraying trust. It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or as a weapon. It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening. It's about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip. It's about what judgments you pass and why. And who your judgments are spread to. It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention. It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge. It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow and spreading it. But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone. Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life's all about.

====================================

There is a slim person inside me, struggling to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate.

I've got it all together, and now I've forgotten where I put it.

All I want is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.

Don't worry about your overdraft - it's big enough to look after itself.

They say that hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.

Dinner will be ready when you hear the smoke alarm.

I'm going to stop procrastinating tomorrow.

I could get organized, but it would only confuse my family.



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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 10/3/2002 6:04:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    lmao love the first one LOL  
Date: 10/3/2002 6:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 10245    whoever wrote this obviously has never met my daughter.. but 100% accurate on all the boy stuff! "Dinner will be ready when you hear the smoke alarm" LMAO... we call ours the "dinner bell"  
Date: 10/3/2002 7:03:00 PM  From Authorid: 53164    LoL! I love this part "Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys will tend to do things like putting a bucket over their heads and running into walls." LoL. Too funny. ^_^  
Date: 10/3/2002 7:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 59940    the running into walls one was relatively new to me,and it killed me!I was laughing so hard!!
Thanks for the laughs,Wooden dude!
Fayes Eyes
  
Date: 10/5/2002 3:00:00 AM  From Authorid: 18516    LOL..I like the last couple of jokes best!!  

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