Date: 9/29/2002 11:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 12103
*scratches head* I hope your not talking about me..I know i use the term "sugar coating" (not sure how many other people do) But when i use it, i am talking about people talking to me..such as if they want to say something...dont lie or beat around the bush..For example: If i ask ginger to be an admin, and she would think that there is NO way in the world..lol i wouldnt want her to say "well your doing a good job at this and this and this..." i would want her to say "the chances are there is people more qualifed then you" not necessarly being rude saying "YEAH RIGHT, Dont hold your breath" LOL if you get my drift. This is just defending me here..LOL  |
Date: 9/29/2002 11:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 28190
Wonderful post. It made me think  And at this hour thats hard at times I guess I do sugarcoat things at times. I never see it as that though. I see it almost the same way, you do. When I am on USM, I probably "sugar coat" (for a lack of a better word) more than I do in real life, because when I log on here, even if I am in a bad mood, it dissapates at the moment I say hello to someone through profile, or replying to a fun post. I still am myself even with brightening up my mood, and just to find that something I can do can make someone smile, means the world to me, whether its on here or in my everyday life away from the 'puter.  Great post AngelAuntyWithTheSameMiddleName. *huge hugs* Love you! Love, Amanda  |
Date: 9/29/2002 11:21:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Hi Princess Jen, I know what you are saying but it was more in reference to the type of attitudes we can choose to have. Now if Ginger spewed out that kind of reaction, I would say she was not choosing to be responsible for her attitude. I know I can always count on Ginger to be uplifting and direct my thoughts to the positive though...:-)  |
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Date: 9/29/2002 11:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 12103
Oh that was just an example Thunder, about ginger...lol She is always nice... |
Date: 9/29/2002 11:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
hehe *wonders if it was her comment* hmmmmmmm I know I made a sugar coating comment on danielles post earlier today and I'm beat and will probably ramble so forgive me thunderhead LOL.......pertaining to my 'sugar coating' *and mind you I don't know if it WAS my comment you saw or not* comment when related to usm.....is basically I'm more open basically just saying what needs to be said even if it isn't necessarily what WANTS to be heard ya know? but not to the point that it would say........hurt feelings. NOW in the meaning of every day life I don't see anything wrong with doing it to lighten my mood as long as I'm not......lying to myself *grins* I'm sure I've made no sense here and am half tempted not to send it as I'm sure I'm making a fool of my tired self  but oh well LOL.....I can always come and 'polish' it in the morning *grins*  |
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Date: 9/29/2002 11:23:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
I couldn't have said it better relating to USM, my Angelniecywiththesamemiddlename. That's kind of my point about how we all can be....Love ya! |
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Date: 9/29/2002 11:26:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Becks, hehe!! You are making me laugh here. Now everyone on the site that has ever used the phrase will be in here saying "You Talkin To ME?" LOL!!! No, it's something I was reminded of tonight, but I've seen it so many times for a long time, used by many. :-) get some sleep girl...*Hugs her goodnight* |
Date: 9/29/2002 11:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
when i first came here i sugar coated things i said a little i didn't want to get off on the wrong step right away... i don't want to get known and the insulting one who is just plain mean*L* but as i got more comfy with myself and the situation i've dropped the candy coating and tell it how it is mostly i'm never really blunt but i don't make things soft like butter to take either  |
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Date: 9/29/2002 11:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
ah I can go to bed now. made ya laugh my day is complete LOL Niiiiiiiiiiiight! *hugs* and *blinks* I'm gonna have to come back in the morning to see just what kind of sense I did NOT make on the previous reply. LOL night all! |
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Date: 9/29/2002 11:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
I find life so much more rewarding when I am completely HUMBLE. Nothing wrong with that and I just wanted to make that point Midnightly. Come to think of it...I noticed a message board that has a whole lot of bold and aggressive talk on it...and I can't see where anyone prospers by it....:-) |
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Date: 9/29/2002 11:34:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Good Night Becky...*Hugs* |
Date: 9/30/2002 12:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 21867
Hi Ya Honey, Oh...this is so so SOOOO true indeed...especially agree with this: "You can infect a whole room with happiness just by offering it first...and that escalates into a world of good." Again your insight just has me in awe. Its so right, and its one thing that life (and in many ways my job) has taught me...that I may not be able to control a situation...but I CAN control how I respond to it, deal with it, and how I allow its affect upon me to influence others. We also need to be mindful that how we deal with things does not simply end with us...for some they seem to have little care what flows from their mouth...for they seem to think if someone has a problem with what they say then its that persons problem. Yet words can strike just as hard as a fist...if ones words are cutting and strike deep and painful into someone, then how much different is that really to striking someone physically. Ultimately we choose how we externalise the internal...we can't control 100% how the receiver will be affected by it, but I do believe we should at the very least be mindful to not make its affect a harsh one. Wise words indeed. Love Ya *kiss kiss*  |
Date: 9/30/2002 1:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 3321
Well, Sis, I see it as having "levels." If you are in a work situation or a professional situation, then of course you need to hold your tongue or phrase your words in a manner that is not insulting, but "sugary." Everyone does it, and it does help us go places. I do speak my mind a great deal-for instance I see no reason to hold my tongue or sugar coat when I am talking to my roommates, or expressing my dissatisfaction with the living situation. With friends, you are honest, but not rude...there are levels...on here, I tend to be a tad more blunt than I might be normally...it just all depends on the independent situations that I find myself in.  |
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Date: 9/30/2002 2:12:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Yep, that's what I'm talking about honey. Thank you for your wise words. *Kiss Kiss* |
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Date: 9/30/2002 2:34:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
I can also relate to what you're saying sis. I let loose like anyone else at times. And I can tactfully express my discomfort about a situation with a little too stern sound in my voice. Afterwards though, I feel like a witch. I am just saying that if I find I am holding my tongue for reasons of professional etiquette, or letting it fly with whatever unabashed four letter words (and more letters if I’m really ticked)... it comes from the same attitude. If I have the highest regard for life in general, ie., good attitude, my thoughts about everything are naturally kind and thoughtful. My attention is quickly averted away from subjects that would require being harsh in word, thought, or deed. I ask anyone, what does it feel like inside as you express a strong dislike for something or someone? Now ask yourself, is it accompanied by good feelings that make you smile? I’m not talking “evil grin”…LOL! |
Date: 9/30/2002 2:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 30747
*whew* I thought it was just me who thought this way. I've heard the term "sugar coating" so many times lately that I wanted to scream, as if "sugar coating" was a bad thing. Geezz there are ways of getting your point acrossed AND maintaining reality to what you say. Some people see "sugar coating" as being phoney and even two faced. uh ah it's all about respect and the golden rule. Simple as that. The ones who say "I never sugar coat anything" are the ones I LEAST trust cuz there's a lie right there. *smiles* Great post Thunderhead. *hugs*  |
Date: 9/30/2002 4:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 30229
Yep, I am a major sugar coater!!! I am guilty my SisANGELwiththesamemiddlename hehe.. and you know, you said this all so well, I have thought things along this same line but couldnt word it, and you got it all down pat One of my favorite sayings is "It don't cost anything to be nice" and if that is sugar coating, then so be it.. lol. I am a sugar coater!!! And proud of it ... Love ya!!!!!  |
Date: 9/30/2002 5:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 42792
You have a point sis. I do need to think about this myself, sometimes. Sometimes it is just so irresistable to be miserable though. Commiserating is somewhat habitual although often not necessary. Good post.  |
Date: 9/30/2002 5:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 53900
I totally get what you are saying...I sometimes find myself in that kind of mood too and I try to remember just cause I am in a rotton mood dont mean I got to take it out on anyone around me...could help to remind people of that though. Great post!!!  |
Date: 9/30/2002 7:48:00 AM
From Authorid: 53427
I am so glad you said this. I totally agree. I admit I am a sugar coater sometimes. But I've always heard you can catch bees better with honey than vinegar. Whats wrong with being nice? Being nice has gotten a bad rap lately. I think having the control and the maturity to keep your mouth shut and not speak your mind 100% of the time is a good thing. Its just me. Its just how I was raised. You don't go around telling people their new hairdo is awful or their butt looks fat in their pants. Why treat people that way on the internet? lol.  |
Date: 9/30/2002 8:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 57452
Good post.  |
Date: 9/30/2002 8:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 28363
You are so right Thunderhead, I find most people who say they won't sugar coat things, to really mean that they enjoy being rude to others.  |
Date: 9/30/2002 8:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 22852
Very wise words and I agree with you 100%, if I am angry and feel the words I type might hurt someone, I will skip replying or else I stop and think before I type. Our mood is up to US to change, one can sit in self pity or try to look at the bright side of things.. That is what I try to do.  |
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Date: 9/30/2002 8:21:00 AM ( Admin-JGB )
momma always said you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar or was that honey????? lol |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:09:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
And you know, SoulDrifter, I lie to myself when I make excuses to remain overly passionate and find things to criticize...some probably think I am doing this now...LOL! *Hugs* |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:13:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Hi sismywonderfulsiswiththesamemiddlename, *steps up to microphone and taps it* ...Hello everyone...my name is Karen....and I am a Sugar Coater....*the crowd roars with applause* Discovers she's at Weight Watchers meeting... |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:14:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Me too NKA sis....((((Huge Hugs))) |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:19:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Hi Jessica, I kept reading that phrase around USM, and it just seemed like too many would read it and think it was a ticket to be rude...:-\ so yeah, sometimes we need a few defining words for this. There are some great comments here that help define the different levels of Sugar Coating, as my sis Perse pointed out...Thanks for commenting ((((Hugs))) |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:20:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Wow Snookums, good point! Thanks for sharing it. ((((Hugs))) |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:23:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Thank you Ms. HollowLuna...(((Hugs)))<--and I mean that! |
Date: 9/30/2002 10:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 13546
Thunderhead! This is a great post, and I couldn't agree with you more. I think it is better to sugar coat things, it keeps things positive and your mind in perspecitive that there is always a silver lining to something whether its bad or good. The conflict in many things, is just not worth the struggle, its better to keep it safe, and keep things clean. No one gets hurt. In the end, its all up to us to make things right. Thank you for sharing this with us hon! *hugs* And Love to you!  |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:26:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Hi Donno, my brother. Yes, and then the more they do it the less others trust they can be happy around them. I've seen people shy away from me like that before....it gets lonely. |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:30:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Yes Storm Chaser, you are a Sugar Coater too...*passes her the gold coin representing staying clean and sober from vinager coating* ((((Hugs)))) |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:31:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
You know Jungabel, just what the heck would people want with catching flies and bees? *scratches head* but yeah, it's a good saying...(((Hugs))) |
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Date: 9/30/2002 10:49:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Once again I must agree Rainbow Angel. I know it takes practice to be humble in all situations. And that's my serious goal. But gosh darn it, I know what Perse is saying when someone you have to live with pushes you to the limit too. Man, can I be blunt and to the point. In that case though, I would be antagonized into it...:-Þ Love ya, |
Date: 9/30/2002 11:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 54987
Thunderhead, that was very profound. I believe sincerely in making our own choices about how someone's words affect us. We can only take responsibility for our own feelings. So I thought your words were very inspiring. I don't see it as sugar coating... I see it has in not letting other people affect our lives to our detriment. Only love is worth sharing. I know I don't always practice what I preach, but I'm on that learning road too and sometimes I stumble. Thanks.  |
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Date: 9/30/2002 8:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Yes, I know what your saying Koolade, my cool buddy...:-) (((Hugs))) |
Date: 9/30/2002 9:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 28946
Well said my friend. A bit of sweetness makes a rotten day so much better. The truth can be said with nice added. An extra bit of nastiness might be the final straw to push someone over the edge. Personally, I don't want that on my conscience. Life is extremely to short to be deliberately mean to someone. One thing I will say about you, Karen, is, you have always been nice and still truthful to me and that has won you my unending devotion to you, for whatever it's worth. Great post.  |
Date: 9/30/2002 9:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
Good Post! Actually I just had a converation with a dear friend here at USM about this, very similar. Some will argue till the cows come home (I don't really know when cows come home, I don't have any) but I will almost always, like I told this friend whose thoughts and opinions matter to ME, is that, as an individual, I don't care what or how you believe, I won't take anything away from another person, EVER, as long as you are not hurting someone else or taking away from me or someone else. I do KEEP many opinions to myself here, sometimes with deep regret, because I don't share the same thoughts and feelings as so many others. This is a very diverse site and I probably "sugar coat" more comments because I keep that in my mind all the time. It doesn't matter to me if you worship the doorknobs in your home, but if I read comments that attack someone personally, or their thoughts or beliefs, I lose all interest in that person. I keep lots of my opinions about others and what they believe in to myself, but so often I find something we may think or agree upon or I just respect that person's opinion enough to not riducule or disparage it. So often I see someone remark that all the great THINKERS and Debaters have left. In whose opinion? I have seen some small minded, self centered, mean spirited people who get kicked out. Who cares? A handful or a hundred, it doesn't mean diddley sqwat to me if I think that person was rude and obnoxious. I see people every day I could tell the HONEST truth to, people here for instance whose opinions and thoughts I've read the last couple of years, how far do we really want to go? Maturity pretty much chalks it up, and common sense prevails.  |
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Date: 9/30/2002 11:20:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
Hi Penny, Thank you for your input, it means a lot to me. Love ya, (((Hugs))) |
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Date: 9/30/2002 11:22:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15033
ROFL!!! Sis, it's so cute the way you say this!! I was laughing but it makes sense too...Love ya, (((Hugs))) |
Date: 2/20/2007 6:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 19586
We should all walk in your wise ways. lol  |
