Can you choose?

It was not long after my older brother died that I had this "dream". Well first I have to tell you something else. I have a sleeping disorder: I hold my breath when I sleep and people can die from it because they can't catch their breath. Well anyways, one night I was sleeping and all of a sudden I found myself in this place where you really couldn't see distance because everything was black. Well, then I looked ahead of me and saw my brother, standing in front of a light that was beautiful but frightening at the same time. Then I heard a voice, deep but I know it wasn't my brother's, and it said, "Choose. DO you want to stay on Earth with your mom or do you want to join your brother?" I missed my brother so much and I was so torn apart at how it effected my family that I started to walk towards him. After a few seconds, I stopped and started walking backwards, crying. I said, "I'm sorry Wolfgang(my brother's name), I can't do this to Mom." I picked up speed and then I finally turned around and ran in the other direction away from my brother. I was crying harder and harder until I started to feel like my body was being pulled through something faster and faster. Then all of a sudden I woke up: I had to catch my breath, I was freezing (even though I had three blankets covering me up) and I had to literally run to the bathroom. After this, as far I as know, I never had any problems sleeping, as far as holding my breath like I used to every night.

What do you think about this? Do you think that I had a choice to die? I'd really appreciate it if you would give me some valuable input on what you think of this.

It just ... confuses me a little. And every time I tell my mom this dream, she starts crying.