Date: 9/22/2002 4:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 51565
deal with him. most parents go spatic on this but they dont udnerstand our body is going through changes and we are haveing a hard time and maybe he is doing diablo to get away from it all. also things are alot more expensive then they used to be so maybe there uis a reason he needs more money. bare with him .  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 46486
Maybe a threat too him.. Tell him that you're sick of his attitude and tell him what his attitude is towards you and others, tell him how he can straighten up, if he doesn't tell him that you will kick him out and have him live with a family member he doesn't like, as I said use it as a threat don't really act on it *Shrugs*  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 56381
LOL awww LL...Im sorry but I dont know how to help! Thats because I am in my mouthy teenager stage too lol  xoxox *Shakira Babe*  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 61811
geez, and my parents think I have a mouth! uhh, i will not comment because i dont want me parents to get any ideas...lol jackie  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:38:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
I will bare with him alright..Im about ready to crown him..I dont care if his hormones are changing or whatever..that is NO reason to disrespect me and to treat his siblings like dirt..there is NO excuse for it IMO..Sure things are expensive..but so is putting a roof over his head, feeding him, clothing him, putting him through school..the whole kit and kabootle..  |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:39:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
LOL..Fallin Angel..I would never make a threat that I could not follow through with..I dont believe in doing that.. |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 45630
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You have a normal teenager. Teenagers are often like this. Why don't you start doing this to him. You know when he says he's finished his homework say "Well actually you've only finished the homework the school set you, you haven't finished the homework I'm giving you". He'll soon get sick of it and realise what your doing.  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 59960
Its just a stage his in, he'll grow out of it. Trust me I went through that exact some thing with my mom and I grew out of it. Hope things get better. *~*SinistarEdge*~*  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 57158
He sounds a bit greedy, to me at least. Uninstall his game until he learns how to straighten up. Or even grounding him from the computer would work. When he argues with you, give him a taste of his own medicine. Don't let him get away mouthing off to you, make him see that yea you do love him but you're still in charge, whether he likes it or not. Good luck to you! Hopefully i helped somewhat. ~*Dangerously Tempted*~  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
well for one...no more diablo for him..remember it is YOUR pc...two..no way on more money......3...as long as he remains mouthy he doesn't even get the allowance much less anything else...*shrugs* just my ideas   |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 46486
I gotta tell ya, these kind of posts are hard for me when I don't have a kid of my own LOL |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 51565
well maybe you should calm down and have a nice talk with him,. if he starts getting unruly stay calm. if he sees you get upset he will get more upset. both of your state your point if view calmly and come to a compramize..or life will just gwet worse for both of you |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 15033
I think you need to find something you can do together. Spend more quality time with him. He is lost in his little world of video games and has no reason to come out. Make time to get him laughing. Sometimes a good laugh together can strengthen bonds. How about a comedy movie or a ride somewhere while you talk? Wish you the best sis! Love ya,  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 44850
use tape, if that doesn't work . . . lock him in a closet for a few days with a television of home videos, if that doesn't work . . . then, only then .... threaten to (*cringes*) show his friends baby pictures, and tell stories all about when he was younger to his friends ....  |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:44:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
LOLOLOL..Im sorry Evil Dead Chick..but its REAL obvious you dont have kids yet..LOLOL |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:44:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
Dreamer, I just told him a while ago that Diablo was going out the window..grrr...he started yelling..saying he hated it here..You know..his usual rants..Man if this is just a stage I hope to GOD its over with soon..LOL |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:45:00 PM
From Authorid: 44850
he's fifteen . . . LL, sorry, but you'll about 2 or 3 more years ...  |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
hehe tell him if he hates it so dang bad there's the door....trust me...that works |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:47:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
I think you may be right ThunderSis..he is lost in the video world..He NEVER goes out..hangs with friends..nothing..he will talk to them on the phone..thats it..(that is where he is now..on the phone)..I do think we need some time alone..I know it can be overwhelming for him here..this house is very hectic..Love you bunches sis! |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:47:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
LOLOLOL..*bonks Penguin over the head with a nerf bat*..talk about making me feel worse you rotter!!! :P:P |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
Oh I have Dreamer..wasnt I on the phone with you one night when I said that to him?? Or maybe it was Gail..LOL..he shut up REAL fast. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 44850
rotter??? LOL, spoken like a true canadian. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
yeah i think it was me lol |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 44850
on a more serious note . . . i was very similar to your son at that age (and, LOL, to degree still am) ... if your home is really hectic, he probably just wants to be left alone for a while, the 2 of you should make some time to be alone for a while, hang out, talk, whatever ... and then, try to introduce places that he may be able to walk to and be alone for a while if he ever needed to . . . |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 46486
Thunder is right.. my dad and I argue a lot, but not as much as before.. See, he sometimes drives me to VG's house, and that's about every other weekend, so he and I have a lot of time to talk, laugh and every thing. And then after just hanging out with my dad we're cool, like friends kinda. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
LOLOL..I am a real Canadian remember Penguin?? :P:P |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:52:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
That is ACTUALLY a good idea Penguin..I really worry about him..he spends way too much time indoors.. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 44850
eh? |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 8184
Take away privileges. That's how I learned!  |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:53:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
Awwwww FA that is great that you are feeling closer to your Dad..My son and I have had some great talks in the past..but I usually feel like they go in one ear and out the other..*sigh* |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 51565
im 16 ladyluck |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:56:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
LOLOL..EDC..then you can relate to my son. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 4:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 44850
well, it worked for me . . . i was lucky enough that there was a basketball court and grocery store w/in walking distance . . . on friday afternoons, i would walk to the grocery store and rent movies to watch that night . . . it got me out of the house, and some time to think alone . . . i know for me, it was ABSOLUTELY NECCESSARY .... some people can live in a loud/chaotic atmosphere, others cannot . . . i know for me, it felt like i had no privacy, or not time to just settle . .. so, that very well may be it . . . and alot of the 'you're wrong and i'm right' may just be to make himself feel like more of an adult, trying to be rather witty or argumentative instead of trying to get you angry . . . . (signs that he showing he may want more respect/privacy) . . . but, at least that's i know I ACTED, and how I WANTED to be treated. |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 33286
my mum used to just beat the tar out of us, worked to a point I guess,,,lol  |
Date: 9/22/2002 4:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 40341
Been there and all I can say is hang on this too will pass  |
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Date: 9/22/2002 5:03:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
LOL..ummmm Hack..thats not an option! :P |
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Date: 9/22/2002 5:03:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
Awwwww Mamma Monkey..how long am I supposed to hold on?? |
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Date: 9/22/2002 5:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 51565
well yes but you also must learn to look at both sides of the argument. thats why you should calm down and have a nice talk with him. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 5:07:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
Evil Dead Chick I have tried every method known to man for talking to my son..I have tried the sweet and kind approach..I have tried the threatening approach, I have tried the losing my temper approach, I have tried the begging and pleading and bribing approach..nothing worked for any length of time.. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 5:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 51565
then i suppose a sweet altimatum. |
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Date: 9/22/2002 5:17:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
LOLOLOLOLOL..a sweet ultimatum??? OMG...... |
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Date: 9/22/2002 5:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 51565
start acting like hes acting. that might work. |
Date: 9/22/2002 5:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 49498
Its hormones. It happens to everyone, I used to fight about the stupidest things. lol, just bear with it. It may drive you up the wall, to hell and back, but eventually -and hopefully soon- it will stop.  |
Date: 9/22/2002 5:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 22852
OMG.. I hate when my son does this. and he is 11. When my oldest used to do it I wanted to beat the hell out of him, now he does it over the phone just to annoy me for fun. Next time say are you sure?, it looks kind of like (fill in) to me and try to make a joke of it. That is what I do and in the end we wind up laughing. Good Luck  |
Date: 9/22/2002 5:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
he gets 25 a week on top of allowance and school money? Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!!! LL...why weren't you my mommy? LMAO heres an idea for ya....instead of bending to his demand of giving another ten dollars a week tell him to straighten up and fly right or your deducting ten dollars a week LMAO  |
Date: 9/22/2002 6:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 12581
Oh no he's a teenager! With all they symptoms in full gear! Well if your son is gonna be a bugger, you gotta be a bugger right back! He refuses to babysit, then don't pay him ANYTHING and tell him to go get a real job for his money cause your done giving it to him, at first he might do the mouthy, FINE I will! But a week or two into having no money, and realising the puppy dog eyes won't work with you, he might be a little nicer. I dunno, I tend to fight fire with fire. I would stop giving him so much money! He's being rude and inconsiderate and your paying him? The boy is old enough to start going out and cutting lawns and earning his money the hard way. I was 14 and had my own housekeeping business and worked part time in a day care. I feel it taught me alot about life and it was a very valuable time. Treat him how he would be treated out in the real world, you walk up to your boss and tell him you aren't going to work for him anymore unless he gives you a raise, and your libel to get fired. I am sure there is a young lady in the area that would love to only work 5 days a week for an hour a day and make $25 bucks. If he won't do his chores, WHY are you still paying his allowence! I'd be mean I guess and tell him no more computer until his chores start getting done and if he's the type to disobey you (like get on the computer anyways) I would change the log on name and password and make it so he can't. Again, if he lived in the real world and didn't get his work done, he wouldn't be able to pay the internet bill and he wouldn't have the computer anyways! Girl, you have put years of love and time and effort into this child, if he's gonna treat you rudely, give him a taste of his own medicine and treat him like he would be treated as though he were an adult, he is acting like one and wants to be treated like one, then treat him like one! It'll be a rude awakening to the unappreciative boy! It is the family's computer not his, until he can learn to share and do his chores, then he shouldn't have the privelige. He hasn't earned it, he doesn't respect it, and I feel it is extrememly unhealthy to let teens do what they want and it sounds like to me, that this is what your son is doing. I wish you the best of luck, stop talking to the boy and just start taking action, he will continue to walk all over you and disrespect you until you do sweetie! Good luck and Take care!!!  |
Date: 9/22/2002 6:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 31765
one word: ballgag  |
Date: 9/22/2002 7:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 54878
watch Oprah - she no everyting  12  |
Date: 9/22/2002 8:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 51070
I'm 18 and my dad and I argue every single day. About every little thing. But that's because my dad does nothing but yell and holler and call me my most hated nickname to annoy me. He's so annoying! GRRRR! Makes stupid noises, too! I swear, my dad's retarded! If I were you, I wouldn't give him allowance. Or do this type of psychology. Every time he mouths off, take a dollar off his weekly pay. When he realizes that you're doing this, he might be nicer to you. Especially if he gets nothing at the end of the week. Just use this type of psychology. Hope it helps. He sounds like a brat.  |
Date: 9/22/2002 9:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
Lots of advice you already have Sis, I think you needed to vent. We all do sometimes, but I think from reading your comments, you will be fine. Nothing harder than working parents raising children, but each has to learn to pull his or her own weight. It gets tough instilling the thought into children that we don't "owe" them everything. I still remember the arguments over cars. I wouldn't want to do it again!  |
Date: 9/23/2002 12:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 46800
I have never read anything like this from you before. You are really mad>you also have never lost it either. When I read this post I was shocked!! Ok to the point at hand my friend told me to do something about my litle one running her mouth off at me she said her Doctor gave her this advice...and by the way I 've never used it... because I've never had the chance to and cause I think it's kinda harsh but .... Anyways next time you're going back and forth with him and he is steadily running that mouth of his make sure it's in the kitchen next to the icebox. Inside the ice box you will have a glass of cold-cold- water to splash in his face. Myabe then he might think twice about running that mouth. I've done it but with out cold water I used just regular temp out of the faucet my 10 yr old was so shocked. It kept her quiet for a couple of days. Speaking of....she needs another splash that says I am the Boss.  |
Date: 9/24/2002 12:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 37900
It has been my experience that teenagers engage in certain behaviors because the benefit they receive is greater than the cost involved. I suggest you seek for ways to decrease the benefit and/or increase the cost. 1) If possible, have your computer password-protected so he cannot access anything until your list of demands is met. [I chose that word deliberately. You are in charge.] 2) How are his grades? If his grades do not reflect his ability, or, if his attitude toward school does not meet with your approval, see point 1. 3) Refuse to be blackmailed. Find another babysitter for that hour; pay someone who will do the job. 4) Have a list of chores he is expected to do, how he is expected to do them and when he is expected to do them. Make your directions and expectations clear enough for him to understand. Have a chart that tracks daily progress, and make the flow of money contingent upon satisfactory completion of all assigned tasks. [For example, no TV or computer games until schoolwork and chores are completed.] 5) Acknowledge the possibility that some of his actions may be designed to get a reaction from you. Teens may not intend to be overtly rebellious; they may only want a reaction from parents, which often amounts to a dramatic performance. 6) Be consistent, and expect to be tested. 7) Catch your son doing something good, and compliment him for it. Enough small praises can build strong loyalties. I wish you well.  |
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Date: 9/24/2002 3:20:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33925
Thank you all for the wondeful advice! I see some great things I can use! |
